Today I woke up and realized my alarm had been set but not turned ON. Seriously?! Thank goodness for the "Micah alarm" going off! I quickly woke David up and we woke up Joy fast to get the kids ready and out the door. (Please note: Joy needs a good HOUR to get up and be a happy camper. Lesson learned. No more forgetting to TURN ON the alarm. Doh.)
All while getting ready I was becoming increasingly aware my pain was more intense than normal for a morning. Moving around so fast might have actually been making it worse but I knew we had stepped out of "medium pain." Just as we were leaving, I took something for the pain. (Oh, how I look forward to the day I do not need ANY at ALL!)
We arrived at her new school and were warmly greeted right away. Joy was shy at first (as is her usual) at meeting her teacher and new classmates. We talked to her teacher (a friend from church) and chatted with several other parents and staff at the school. David went off to ask one of them a few lingering questions we still had and set up our interview for the next day. (Talk about cutting it close - our year!)
We enjoyed our time and then were told we could actually interview in about 15 minutes. When the principal was ready to meet with us, Joy's wonderful teacher agreed to continue to watch our little ones in her classroom with the other kids. We headed off to meet the principal. Let me tell you: this guy is in the right position, at the right place and made me feel even more confident about our decision to send Joy to this school. He talked a lot about the classical approach to school with the Christian worldview. I was intrigued, learning even more, while fighting off the discomfort in my body from today's pain from my PE. He assured us at the end of the interview we were a good fit and to not worry. He would expedite her application and would see us on Tuesday for the first day of school. I was thrilled. I felt so much more confident than even before this was definitely where Joy belonged.
We left shortly after. We dropped David off to get ready for his first job of the day and went to WinCo to get some groceries to get us through to "payday." The kids were wonderful and made it a fairly easy trip. Upon arriving at home, I get the kids' lunch ready and went back down to the car to grab the rest of the groceries. I grimaced and grumbled as the neighbors below us yelled loud, inappropriate things (from inside their apartment) that our whole side of the complex likely heard. I was frustrated, remembering issues they had caused for us a lot of the year but tried to remain calm as I headed back into the apartment to check on the kids and start to enjoy just being home for the day.
It was then that I realized I had left my phone in the "car cart" at WinCo but I headed back to the car to double check. Sigh. I sent my hubby a text message from my e-mail to alert him while I looked for the phone to the number we rarely used. Simultaneously, I was trying to get my lunch ready with te kids themselves chatting and finishing up lunch. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, repeatedly checking my e-mail, hoping David could call for me and/or tell me where my other phone was. Micah had slept in the care for a short time so he refused to nap, even after a "noble" attempt on my part. Thankfully, the kids played really well together while I finished up lunch and surrendered the phone search (mostly).
It was during this time that I realized my pain had truly returned and I was feeling like someone had knocked the wind out of me... yet again. There's another sigh. I tried my best to relax as long as I could before Micah warranted my attention and I discovered mess after mess Joy had made yet again in our little apartment. I was clearly frustrated at her horrible timing and at the fact that my daughter who had been doing so well was clearly acting out more than I wanted. Even though I sensed a little bit of why she was I was still frustrated as I tried to do as quick a fix to each of the situations before sitting down on the floor to play with my Micah for a bit. This seemed to work with him better than yesterday and I admit I was relieved he was acting more like himself than previous days this past week. I said a little "thank you" to my Jesus before praying for survival through the discomforts for the rest of the day.
Shortly after this, I was able to check my e-mail and discover quite the relief to myself. David had gotten my messages and had been called my the man who found my phone. He had taken my phone to customer service at WinCo and David had said he would grab it for me on his way home between jobs so I would not have to get out again feeling as I was. This was definitely good news (even though I despise my phone) as I need it more than I want to admit. My anxiety was still creeping back up as my kids' energy amped up near me. When David arrived home he decided to "Boo!" Micah Boo and ended up making me jump in the air. I cried. I fully cried and tried to run out of the room. Poor David. I was done. David did his best to give Micah the attention that he wanted as he got ready pretty hastily for his second job.
I hugged my hubby as he headed out the door again for a very long shift remembering he only had so many left at Wendy's and things would get better at home soon. I was happy that no more "super late nights turned early mornings" would be in our future after the next 1.5 weeks or so. I was still sad though as I dreaded these back-to-backs for us all. Missing daddy is hard on everyone, even daddy. After he left, I tried to focus on getting Joy her requested bath and both of the kids their dinner. This only worked so-so but at this point that is all I needed. I kept looking at the time, anticipating Micah's bedtime. He was doing pretty well but I was so worn and concerned about pain creeping back in that I knew him being in bed would benefit myself, his sister and him.
I finally decided to try and eat dinner and found myself feeding Micah parts of my own dinner to keep him happy. (Sound familiar?) My kids eat more than most adults I know ;) It sure seems that way some days at least. Shortly after, I put Micah down and was happily surprised he had cried himself to sleep again. We were definitely making much more progress lately in that arena and it wasn't taking nearly as long anymore. I tried to focus and chat with Joy, as I reminded her that she in fact would not be getting dessert due to disobeying and creating unnecessary messes today. She was frustrated and repeatedly tried to ask me but I finally convinced her to settle for a small snack so I could get my shower in and try and get more done so we could leave tomorrow shortly after my appointment.
Fortunately for me, tonight Joy hardly fought it. After my shower, Micah needed some cuddling. After he was back asleep, she gave in and decided not to fight me on sleep anymore and fell right to sleep. Here I was finally with time to myself. I was out of my normal coffee so I used a different one in my drink. BAD idea! It was so not the same. I wimpered.... again.... over coffee. More sigh... I gave in to the pain medication before it took me over instead and remembered I was planning on writing tonight, being real...
So now I am sitting here contemplating my day, whining to myself... both thankful and irritable about pain medication, glad to have found some Facebook support groups for infant/pregnancy loss but still pensive as they are new to me, excited and nervous for Joy to start school in ONLY 5 sleeps... still wiping my eyes as I have been ALL day (still not sure why) and thankful for so many precious friends. I am a bit of a wreck emotionally and physically today but am trodding on as usual. I love my Lord Jesus and know He is fully in control, especially of the finances, my health and our family's future (my biggest concerns as of late)!
Posting this one again... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z29olPjFbqg
That's all for now...
*Melis*
P.S. Hematology appointment tomorrow (finally)!!
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