PRAY

Where did I go? With all of those posts so close together, I figured this question would come around sooner or later but there really isn't much I can report at the moment. Been doing a lot of thinking about prayer these days though. We had our last Women's Bible Study for the season yesterday. It was a potluck, so fun! We got a few new strategies for Bible Study through the summer and signed up to be encouraged by our leader via e-mail, such a great idea. 

My husband didn't get the latest of the FT jobs which really perplexed us this time. We really haven't been able to understand where God is going with this one. A close friend encouraged me to pray... pray for guidance, to hear God's voice & this one is key... for my husband. Lots of you reading this will understand this one. We need to pray for our men. Being the spiritual leader of a family does not come natural for so many men. But speaking with my friend, I am reminded how CRUCIAL it actually is. Little boys grow up watching their daddies. Dads who lead by this example often have sons that grow up understanding this very thing and striving to do it for their own families. 
But honestly, how many times have you prayed for your husband... specifically? I realize I cry out to God sometimes when I am confused for him but I am realizing its gotta be much more than that. 

You see, I have a fabulous husband. He cooks, cleans, takes care of his kids whenever he can. He is a family man in a big way who adores me too! I am truly blessed. He strives to be a man of God but so often my prayers are so vague. After opening up recently, I realized I need to be more specific. What does my husband need? Where does he need clarity? Support? So I am praying a little differently now. I am excited to do this as I am his biggest support and if I don't, who will? He came home from his new PT job today energized (and with tips and mileage reimbursement). He looked so happy. After closing at his FT job and getting only a few hours of sleep they were beyond impressed. I love seeing him light up. God is so good. 

I could go on and on with this topic but most of you would finally need to head to be... LOL. So, here is the video I love of Sanctus Real's song, "Pray" again. I think it hits all the right notes (Haha, joke... sorry.)  Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrQHNQ0hwQE

And as always....
  Melis

P.S. You may need this post/song for something completely different. That's okay. I pray for a lot of aspects of life right now. This one, my hubby just happens to be especially on my heart right now. God is using it to teach my something :)

Happy Birthday, Joy Joy! You're 5 and BIG today!

Today is my beautiful girl's 5th birthday! She is such a beautiful light into our world! Her smile lights up my world. She is such a friendly, good-natured BIG girl! We are so proud of her and can't believe she is already 5! She starts Kindergarten in the fall. Where has the time gone? Her little brother adores him and she makes so many people smile with her friendly spirit of love of others. She is a fantastic helper and considers just about every kid she meets her friend. She loves the outdoors (didn't get that from me) and would play outside all day, every day if she could! Even our little maltipoo thinks she is a blast some days. I am so proud of my pink-loving, dancing, joyful, "always be my little girl." She may be our firstborn but she will never be less loved! I love you Joy Noelle! You have the perfect name for you! I am so proud to be your Mommy!

Peace, I'm Worn

One of the greatest things about my Christian walk lately has been the peace. I don't know how to explain it exactly. Its when you know you are following God's Will, even when you don't know what is going to happen. It's absolutely sublime some days, really!

However, we all hit walls. Some days don't go as planned and no matter how "simple" a decision may appear, suddenly, nothing makes sense and we struggle with this decision to make. We pray and we pray. We let our anxiety get the best of us. Sometimes we insist it doesn't make sense. Why would God let us struggle like this, "wander?"

Today has been one of those days. After several very comforting weeks in His Word and in conversation with Him, I hit my wall. And to be honest, my own insecurities are getting the best of me. I have cried. I have yelled. I have let The Evil One start to get the best of me. I even tried eating (a past "comfort"). None of those helped. And then I realized... I am not listening. I am still "yelling" at God!

Am I the only one struggling with this? Have you reverted back to old habits or forgotten to listen? Is life moving so fast around you, you have forgotten to quiet yourself and just listen? I encourage you to stop right now if you need to and just listen. I have "prided" myself often in my constant conversation with God, the ability to include Him in just about everything, even when I fail to do a daily devotion. Did you catch that? "just about everything" - oops!

Truth be told, I am WORN -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUEy8nZvpdM

Remember to listen. Sometimes we just need that silence, that "refresh." Sometimes we need to do a little more. Open up that Bible of yours and read on. God works in ways we don't always understand but if we are listening, if we are truly obedient, God will always make a way, HIS way. 

Night All,
 Melis

"Memorial Moment"

This is not something I would normally post. I came across it and almost lost it in front of my tea, nursing a cold. Its beautiful though. Love the sentiment. I wasn't planning on posting anything today. I strive to be real and transparent but even this its a "nerve" with me. However, with all of you faithful readers, I thought this would be the place to express it. 

My thoughts are with you "Squirt." Enjoy it up there. We can't wait to see you one day!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=495772113821516&set=a.391230580942337.88483.391225394276189&type=1&theater

Love,
  Mom

Touched

So I have been busy trying to "organize" my family's life lately, trying to figure out what to do for Joy's schooling in the fall, trying to plan out ideas for summer, praying for the right income so we can be secure and move forward, praying about where to start serving in church, and just taking the best care of them I can. And honestly, I think they all have been taking better care of me. Being sick, David lets me be, lets me rest more, lets me be emotional. He's a blessing. Micah just looks at me or says my name and I can't be mad or frustrated.  I just stop and wanna be in the moment. Joy is so stinkin' smart. Her birthday is almost here. She is so much like me AND her Daddy. I am so amazed by her each day. And all of these conversations I have been having lately with friends, both on FB and elsewhere I just continue to realize how blessed I truly am and how stoked I am to live in Tracy and go to Cedar Grove Community Church in Livermore. God keeps showing me how important family is and keeps refreshing me when I feel weary. This is so not where I saw this blog going and I know I am rambling but I wanted to thank you all who have been reading my blog and I hope you will continue to read through it, the boring, the touching, the exciting. There are good things on the horizon I know. And I look forward to continuing to share with you all. Keep me in your prayers as I continue to seek God with my Davey about where His next steps are for us and how we are to handle them. I know God provides and he is REAL! I look forward to seeing where all of this leads.

On my mind... https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=536847656357328&set=a.165409560167808.28902.145537805488317&type=1&theater

Talk to you soon...
       Melis

I'm not really sick...

Just curious, has that line ever worked for anyone? But seriously, each day the tickle in my throat gets a little more pronounced and a little more sore. Today, my nose is a tiny bit runny but I keep trying to put it behind me and move on. After all, I am not sick. I don't get sick easily. I will be fine. lol. Anyone actually buying it? It could be allergies. After all, I used to live in Santa Cruz and now I live in Tracy. Both are horrible on the allergies. lol. This weekend has definitely had its share of ups and downs but I remain positive and focused on my Lord. He has gotten me this far! I did workout today and I did get some down time. Having David off is always a blessing. 

Did I mention his new boss loves him? Seriously, he is the nicest guy and so stoked on David and says that is rare for him. What a blessing! Considering this job at Round Table is only going to be part-time for now, I feel truly blessed! I have already met the guy and even I am pleasantly surprised. I have never officially met David's boss at Wendy's and still mostly respect the guy. This is unheard of though, right?

Anywho, feeling blessed even though I feel like crud.  As per the usual, when I am inspired, I have to post a song or two... Enjoy!

This one esp. hit home today... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrQHNQ0hwQE.

Switchfoot... Who doesn't love them? This one is special. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiiQcyoKWjQ

Heard this one today too... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvLxZEU02uI

And one last one :) Super encouraging! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1OE53ZMApQ

Thanks for following along. I know, a lot :) I was touched and I smiled so...
                               That's all for now..
                                          Melis

May days!

I can't believe it is May already. This year has flown by already. Mother's Day here was normal. We went to church, enjoyed seeing others and watching the baby dedication. This little boy, kept trying to steal the pastor's mic. It was quite hilarious. Of course, seeing Sarah & Dave's little one up there was too much... SO precious. So thrilled to be surrounded by my church family on days like today. After we got home, we had lunch and then before we knew it, David was off to work. Micah is now in bed (for the meantime), Joy is winding down and I am trying to brainstorm super easy, cheap ideas to celebrate Joy's birthday in a week. 1 week away! What? She will be 5! So my world is coming in on me in some ways wondering where the time went and what kind of mother I have been to her. I am glad she is such a sweetheart at the core of it all because I have made A LOT of mistakes as her mom. I adore her though and am so proud of the big girl she is becoming. We have kindergarten in our sights. So glad for my girl, Joy. So May is here and almost over at the same time but I am thankful nonetheless. Well, Micah seems to be "hearing" us so I am gonna close out for the night. I pray all of you moms had a wonderful weekend. Have a great week.

                               Until next time...
                                           Melis

Update anyone? Why does it feel like its been way longer than a few days?

So many ups and downs lately, I wish I could share them all with you! In due time, I am sure...

Some highlights~

  2 interviews this past week for David. As many of you know we have been praying for more/different work for David for some time. Let's just say its been like walking through dry and barren land for too long it seems.  1st one was Thursday for a custodial position in a school district - FT, including benefits, decent pay. 2nd one was earlier today for a PT delivery driver position for at one of the Round Table's here in town.

  Results? He didn't get the school district position but they called today for a similar position in the same district. Interview is next Thursday afternoon. Prayers continued please!

Interview 2 - he got the job on the spot! We are so stoked for him. We are hoping his current boss will let him work it in for the meantime as we can use any extra at this point to start gaining ground again. I am so thrilled for him and he looks so relieved. He keeps mentioning the word "tips." LOL

Prayer Warriors (& even those of you who just love to pray), please continue to pray for guidance and wisdom and income/job matters as God leads us forward.

Now, on to a completely separate note~

  I have been learning the "ins & outs" of simple marinades (esp. lower sodium) to help my meats taste better and stay healthy. I am learning on the fly and enjoying every little victory (esp. these tasty ones). It is quite freeing and rejuvenating for me. (I am even learning some how to cook steaks.)

My kids~

  Joy has stayed well for some time again. Micah has a stuffy nose but overall doing pretty well. As many of you know, our winter-early spring was exhausting as both the kids and David repeatedly caught big after bug and I was losing a lot of sleep. Micah keeps smiling and hardly shows his bugs but we always welcome prayer for the bugs to stay far, far away.

We are looking forward to finalizing summer plans as soon as a few more things get ironed out.  Joy could very easily end up at 2 VBS' and a mini dance production camp. We are very excited about these for her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Overall, I see God working quite intimately in our family 

these days. He is showing Himself in such 

real ways, I just cannot lost hope!

To All of You who "Dare" to read~

Remember God does not ignore any of us or are desires. He often works in ways we don't understand. What is important is to continually Trust in Him and  Have Faith! Seek Him! It is definitely not easy so many days BUT I can tell you from very personal experience, it is Definitely worth it!

Enjoy the following links...

For Moms (I loved reading this)~ http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/05/why-mothers-day-is-for-the-birds/

Moms, This one just touched me~ https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=535775319797895&set=a.165409560167808.28902.145537805488317&type=1&theater

For all of you. This perspective really opened my eyes~ https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151447247386961&set=a.390955286960.162138.99550061960&type=1&theater

Music that touched me today~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0KAHCZCi2M & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-sigUxXsAA

And... For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39, NIV)

                                  

                                    That's All For Now,

                                                   Melis

My Sweet Micah Boo

There are so many things I could say about my boy. He is such a little sweetheart and a charmer. We can barely go anywhere without comments or "awws." He adores his sister and loves it when Daddy plays with him. The funniest thing these days is his fascination with Abby, our maltipoo. She is 6 lbs of fluff and he loves crawling after her yelling "Abb!" She doesn't know how to react sometimes. Sometimes she will lick him, other times cower, and then there is the running (and hiding). Micah's fascination with our dog cracks me up. It makes him happy when he is sad. he forgets what he wants when he sees her. He just lights up!

 

Looks like he found her again!

That's my boy!

                                                                                                                                  That's all for now! <3 Melis

My puppy! (Too funny not to share)

Too funny not to share (Forgive formatting - still figuring this all out...)

Can you find the puppy?

Looks like Micah found the puppy!

He's approaching. Has she noticed?

Oh no! Micah Boo is here!

Oh no! Where did my puppy go?

Guess I will move one of Joy's toys. Can you tell which one?

And another one...

Oh no! My toys!

Follow up from last post

After I typed up last night's post, I did a little more reflecting. It has been a long time for me opening up (and if you know me, I am a TALKER!). God has really used this period in my life to grow me as an individual, a mom, a wife etc... He has used it to redefine and reinforce priorities. In the wake of the miscarriage, David and I both had a strong desire. So a little over 8 weeks ago, David started P90X (and I thought crazy!). I started mixing it up. I went to Curves. I walked and walked. I found Zumba and got it for our Wii (which is now in need of replacement). I worked out 1.5 hrs a day initially. I then changed it up, varying from 30 min to 3.5 hrs. It was ridiculous. I lost 5 lbs the first week. I then yoyo'd up and down an additional 3 lbs for the next 5 weeks. I finally got sick, hit another period, had a mild injury (repetitive stress- apparently my "curse"). I was getting nowhere and I was working so stinkin' hard. I was frustrated. David was getting results and I was barely moving. 

It was then I realized there was a Lean version to P90X and in one fell swoop, I had started it. I determined not to quit so as not to have "wasted time." Week 1 was hard. I wanted Tony Horton to disappear and I wanted to eat my junk again but I pressed on. Week 1, I lost 3 lbs, obsessive over the scale. Week 2 felt a little better and lo and behold I was making progress, another 3 lbs. At this point, I finally got my measurements. In the 7ish weeks since I had last checked, I had lost 12 total inches. My trainer at Curves was shocked and impressed. It was after week three, and 3 more lbs later, I was stronger and doing things I never thought I would do. I knew I couldn't go back. I was following the program to a tee and addicted to Tony, even when he annoyed me. So, lifestyle change... yes. And totally worth it... Still want more babies but now I have a new focus and trust me, I can SEE the results and I feel like a pro I guess. God is good. God continues to reveal his blessings in places I don't expect. I have had several wonderfully surprising conversations later and I am more energized than ever. Here is where some of my motivation is coming from...

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0ip40j82ws&list=PL47C0F3FDD747A3CC
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bG_PoYipZkU&feature=share
3. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=533514026690691&set=a.165409560167808.28902.145537805488317&type=1&theater

Enjoy! More where that came from alter. Now off to do Core Synergistics. Thank goodness for Recovery Week. Do your best. Forget the rest! Right?

Melissa

It's time...

I haven't opened up publicly about this prior but the more conversations I have, the more I feel I need to share. So many people who I have talked to have been so supportive. It's time.  After Micah was born last February, we were already praying for more. About the 6 month mark, my cycles resumed and within 2, I was pregnant again. Excited and with a friend's inspiration, I started spreading the word. I was thrilled. I wanted everyone to know we were having a third child (mainly due to the difference in my first two's ages which was not fertility related). I wanted to confirm that this was something we could achieve. We could still have our big family. At our 12 week appt, all looked great. So, we headed out of town to visit family and started looking forward to Christmas, an even to tax season when we could start praying about those bigger things we were without or could replace. We were at peace. And then it hit... At 16 weeks, I think it was Jan 10th or so, my 16 wk appt, Doc couldn't find the heartbeat. He assured me that dopplers can't always pick it up then and had me scheduled for an ultrasound. 3 extremely long days later it was confirmed around 7:45am in the ultrasound office I had so many happy, enjoyable memories in. It was so quiet and we then had to figure out how to tell Joy. She got it amazingly but that made us feel worse. I was admitted to a hospital later that day to "deliver" and that made it even harder. We had friends with our kids but ultimately at the end, it felt so weird when David had to be with them. With a friendly nurse and my doctor's wife, the midwife there I realized I was in good hands. I talked and cried and just kept praying. I was assured I could be discharged around 10pm so I could be home to nurse my Micah. My hubby took them to find me comfy clothes. We went out to eat and we just kept shaking our heads. In one day, our world was shattered it seemed. Never a worry or care prior in pregnancy and then...

So, what changed? Well, I told myself that there was a reason for this. God had and has a plan. It never gets easy. I vowed soon thereafter to make this our Year of Faith (and boy has it been). I vowed to stay faithful and positive, to look forward. David has had to nudge me back into the moment at times and I have shifted my focus to make sure I don't constantly dwell on things. But seeing friends with preggo bellies and hearing babies cry still make me weep. Some days, nothing triggers it except I am tired or life just seems hard. I believe God has already done so much growing in David and I and we really are closer. We chose not to let it break us and are working on a visible tribute for our place one of these days. I carry "Squirt" with me in my heart daily and I know God has our little one with Him. After all, He needs babies in Heaven too. (Thanks, Mom.) I take great calm in music I hear - primarily on KLOVE and know that God speaks directly to me through those words, those melodies and harmonies, through church sermons and Bible Study and through the feedback my friends so wonderfully give to me. Its interesting... When you open up, often people share too. This world needs more of that. Many are hurting and don't realize the woman or man on their left feels their pain. I am thankful for the support system we have.

So what is next? For now, we are focusing on getting in shape, getting healthy for our kids and praying God will bring along more little ones to fill a future home when He wants. We keep praying and we keep thanking Him.

James 1:2-4 -- My life verse comes in so handy here. Trials really do come...
 ^"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (NIV)

I look to move forward by faith and continue to trust God even when its hard. I know I will still cry, whine and let God have it some days but I am so thankful He has it all under control. Sorry so long-winded... Thought it was about time :)

   That's all for now...
                       Melis

Finally time to get this thing started!

   Apparently, I registered this blog almost 18 months ago. Today is my first post. I think the name says it correctly as I am a space case and my world turns around in circles some days. Its why focus is such a huge, key thing for me. I hope to jot down memories, thoughts, hopes and life in general. Some will be short, some (okay most) will probably be ridiculously long but I am tired of saying, "Why didn't I write/type that down?" So for now, that is all. David just left for work. Micah is probably ready to be removed from his crib. Thank you, Lord for life... every day. God is truly amazing and I know He is and has always been with me and my family, especially in this year dedicated to our Faith.