O-N-E H-U-N-D-R-E-D

When I started this blog, I was a few months into grieving the loss of my first angel... 
                                                                                                                                my third child...
My intent was to share with other women that they were not alone...
I wanted other people to know that miscarriage, still birth, and baby loss happens...
    that it is real, and there are women who go through it... often twice, three times, or more...
I wanted my words to possibly help even one woman know that she was not the only one..
    and that there are support groups...
       and organizations...
         and people who can help...
           and who care...
I did not know at the time, however what was ahead of me in that year...
    the year we first chose a family word...
       FAITH...
David warned me.  He told me that word was like setting ourselves up...
I knew... God would do what God would do and He would allow what He would allow...
This was our chance to step out and say we trusted Him, that we had FAITH.  He agreed.

Well, as many of you now know, that word clearly defined our year that unfolded in front of us. Two thousand thirteen was a year full of challenges... and not small ones.  Just before Mother's Day, we discovered we were pregnant again.  We were thrilled and a bit nervous, but mostly excited.  We kept it mostly to ourselves, telling only a handful of people.  We found out at fifteen weeks we had lost another baby... Five days later, I was diagnosed at the age of twenty-eight, on our sixth wedding anniversary with a pulmonary embolism, a large clot in my lungs.  Over the next four days in the hospital, I learned I had an inherited clotting disorder that was likely the source of ALL of this.

The following six months were all about getting better.  I had my blood drawn so frequently, I made friends with two of the ladies who worked there, to the point where I would not go to any other lab... ever.  I was constantly adjusting my medication to align with my INR levels from those blood draws.  Meanwhile, I was still in a lot of pain most days, so I was on pain medication for it.  When the time came for my scan and then my six month follow up, I was nervous but so excited.  On my Daddy's birthday, I found out I was free of Coumadin and the pain was gone.  I no longer needed the pain medication either and I had no side effects.  I felt like I got a huge present on my Daddy's birthday.  It felt freeing...

It was around this time I finally started to feel well enough to take better care of myself. Someone I knew from church posted about P90X3.  I had already had some past success with P90X and I loved the idea that I only needed to work out thirty minutes a day with this one.  A month in, I  was hooked and a month after that, I was signed up as a Beachbody coach.  I was on board, excited and I was changing my life.  I was losing weight, building muscle I did not know I had and I was seeing a future.  I was seeing a chance for life after multiple losses and a pulmonary embolism.  I was living a life on aspirin but that was not going to define me.  I was going to get healthier, fitter and be more in control of my own life, and I was going to take my family along for the ride... because if anyone deserved it, they did.  David had seen me at my worst.  He had not only stuck by me but he had supported me, encouraged me and seen to the kids needs whenever I could not.  My kids never saw me different it seemed either.  They loved on me and knew I was not whole somehow but they cared and wanted me anyway.  My family needed this.  So I was going to make these changes for them.

Something interesting happens when you immerse yourself in something... it changes you.  It takes you to on an adventure that you cannot predict.  You think you are in control but each of those decisions takes you somewhere else.  Yes, I wanted to lose weight but I was learning that with that weight loss, I was getting stronger, and not just physically (which was pretty awesome on its own, let's be honest) but I was starting to think more for myself.  I was not depending on David for as much.  I was starting to do activities I enjoyed again.  I was cooking, baking, running, swimming, writing more... I was making decisions firmly again;  I was not waffling so much.  I was building confidence back that I once had but it was different this time.  It was ALL different this time...

It sure seemed that way.  I was twenty-five lbs down, I was working out six days a week.  I was eating better than I had ever before.  I was working out at least an hour each day and I was setting goals and challenges and not letting injuries or other obstacles stop me.  They were aiding me, teaching me more about myself and who I was, who I could be.  I liked it.  I was ready to crush more programs and goals and take on the world!  Truthfully, I felt like my own version of Wonder Woman.  I knew who I was and no matter what happened next,  I was confident I could handle it; David and I could handle it.  We were equipped, prepared and in control.  Good news or bad news, the world was ours.

And then we found out we were pregnant...  We had just celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary.  We were less than a month out from Joy starting first grade.  David had just received a promotion at work and our sweet kiddos seemed genuinely happy.  No one had been sick in months.  I tell you the honest truth, I froze...

Since the moment my hematologist cleared me of my pulmonary embolism, I was ecstatic, not just because I was healed... but because I wanted so badly to have my baby... my rainbow baby... the one that fulfilled the promise that we were able to still have kiddos, the one that meant my hematologist was right and we now not only had a reason for my losses and six additional months "out of commission" but for a solution to it as well.  In theory, it all made sense and it seemed great.... 

Reality is cruel some days.  For so long, you just pray and imagine and wonder what it will be like one day to have your greatest dream come true and when you are on the brink of it, all of your worst fears and insecurities come rushing right back.  And during the first sixteen weeks of my pregnancy (twelve since I found out), that is where I was.  My blood pressure was higher, my days were quieter.  I was more withdrawn.  I initially excitedly told people, only to be reminded each day that anything was possible and we were not safe yet. Additionally, I had morning sickness like never before, as well as fatigue day in and day out.  Parts of me physically hurt so much that I could not figure out how to even walk for exercise... me... the person who had thrived on and lived on and ingrained in myself this idea that exercise was a part of me...

A part of me... Fitness had become a piece of the person I saw myself to be long term, the person I was developing and becoming as an adult... as a mature, healthy, well-rounded adult... It was THAT important to me that I crumbled repeatedly at the thought of not showing that side of me... over and over and over again.  I wanted so much to prove to women that you could be fit and pregnant.  I wanted to be that woman who looked like she could take on the world, even when I was thwarted by pregnancy annoyances.  After all, I had seen other women do it, read their posts and seen photos of what they were eating during pregnancy, how they were continuing their fitness regimen and how great it made them feel... and how much better their labor was because of it.  And then I realized... I was jealous.  I was jealous of the women who did not feel pregnancy the way I did this time around or at least did not appear to feel it the way I did.

Sixteen weeks arrived, and thanks to a sweet friend and a special at our ultrasound place, we got to see our princess, kicking around... with a heartbeat... I think that is when I finally let my breath out for the first time in this entire pregnancy.  The daily injections of Lovenox were working.  My body worked.  My baby looked as healthy as her older brother and sister did.  She was even measuring ahead by a week already (thanks to her father's genes, haha), just as her older siblings did at that point as well.  She was the cutest baby we had seen in a very long time.  And when we picked up Joy from school that day, she shrieked and turned around and told one of her teachers she was going to have a sister.  My heart lit up like letters on a Wheel of Fortune board.

Over the next few weeks, I found strength and some energy and started to walk again.  I was still sick as a dog most days but I was seeing the hope I had not seen for months.  Just that picture of my newest little girl kicking made me smile.  And not more than a week after we saw that ultrasound, I felt those first kicks, right on schedule, just like her older brother and sister.  My back still hurt as well but I kept trying to stay positive as people reminded me over and over that she was fine, growing, even thriving... The closer I got to the New Year, the more hopeful I got, the more ecstatic I got.  I started thinking about running new challenge groups, one right out of the gate in the New Year.  A group of ladies committed to check in and get a health tip and talk about what it meant and apply it as able.  It was simple and for 21 days, that is exactly what many did.  It helped remind me of something I had forgotten...

We have seasons in life.  Some of them are longer or shorter.  Some are ridiculously fun. Some are more challenging.  Some pass by without being noticed.  Some contain combinations of challenges, fantastic news, and moments that pass us by.  But the point is, seasons exist.  And each season ultimately comes to an end, transitioning into another.  I have often noticed they overlap as well in certain areas.  Anytime when I am in one of my harder seasons, I remind myself that it will not last forever, no matter how long it may seem at the time.  This is what we went through during our Year of Faith.  And when the following year hit, our promise was to be content, no matter what.  Considering that year had no huge hurdles, I think there were times we questioned if we were more faithful than content... And yet, she was conceived during this year, found to be a girl during this year, one growing and thriving inside of me like I had only dreamed...

I often think of two-thousand-fourteen as our transition year.  We had it rough for a year, worked out some kinks and frustrations the following year and then we needed to make some serious decisions during two-thousand-fifteen.  We wanted to leave the excuses behind us.  No one would make us feel inferior.  No one would determine whether or not we were happy or content ;-)  No one else had the power over us.  Only God was in control.  We would be setting goals and making plans (to the best of our abilities).  We would be embracing this year like no other.  We would LIVE.  I always make sure to emphasize (I hope) that this word is a verb, an action.  It is NOT passive by any means.  We would trust God.  We would do what we could within His will.  This included David's job, my working, our children, our living situation... absolutely everything...

So it may or may not surprise you to find out that one of those aspects of my life that I have struggled most with in recent weeks is confidence... I lack it.  As I work on my business, I question myself constantly.  I wonder if I am pressuring myself to the point of failure.  I constantly question whether I am a good enough mother or not.  My son did not get a good lunch.  My daughter did not get much time with mommy today.  Homework did not get finished.  The house is still a complete mess, possibly worse when David walks in the door at night.  There is a tantrum and not only do I not know how to stop it, I do not know what is causing it.  I tell my kids to wait.  One of them breaks something.  I worry if I am eating enough.  Will my baby be okay?  It is a constant battle these days.

So in light of this constant struggle as of late, I decided to try an experiment... nothing fancy but with my thirtieth birthday approaching in the next few months, I decided to ask around thirty friends for a word that describes me, no other instructions included.  Now some simply declined and some gave me multiple ones.  Some gave me words that really made me think.  Others repeated a word another had given me, some of which I did not expect to see even once.  Now where am I going with this?  It is about perspective.  The people who know you best, the people who care about you... they do not see your flaws like you do.  Now, they may be the ones to approach you if something really is off because they care but they do not sit there and complain about you constantly and anything that may be "wrong" with you.  So, why do I?  How is it even possible for me to LIVE when I am so focused on all of these negative aspects I see in myself, a human trying to do my best?  It really is not possible to LIVE fully.  So I decided to delve in and see how I was actually perceived...

Some of the words I have struggled with the most are strong, beautiful, and brave... 
   Why? Because I have fought against a perception that I feel weak most of my life, because I    am a woman who does not often see the beauty in who she truly is unless I am feeling            good, and because when life fell down around my family and I, I did what I thought I              needed to do, never once seeing     it as anything other than that.
A word that surprised me... enduring...
   This goes along with the words, strong and brave,  I struggle with it a little but like the        perspective.  I truly believe without God, we would be finished and I would be forever              depressed in a hole.  I do not believer I could endure life without His continual promises.
Some words that encourage me... compassionate, supportive, genuine...
    I love to hear these kinds of words!  I need to remember them!  These are things I strive         for on a regular basis so it is nice to see that I am emanating them to others.

"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." ~ Marilyn Monroe

I came across this quote and could not help but see it as incredibly meaningful for where I am now.  It has been more than two years since we said goodbye to our first angel and there are days I still cry and mourn his loss.  There are days where I still question God.  And as far as we have come in our journey as a family, it still makes us sad.  I have always found a way to explain to others that it has to be a part of something so much bigger but I have only been able to point to my best guess as to what that is.  Perhaps, it was not just so I could share with you my journey and to help others but to help us see how important health is... and life.  Without the passing of our dear Squirt, I would have never started this blog.  I might not have seen the depth of how God can work in one person ,one couple, one family... as He has in ours.  Upon losing Little One and being diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism and Factor V Leiden all within about a week during the summer of two-thousand-thirteen, I became more open to the fact that perhaps God has bigger plans for us as a family and I needed to make some changes.

As previously mentioned, I have struggled with my own self confidence and opinion of myself at times... often actually.  I have been hyper-aware of how I believed I was perceived and always felt like I needed to fight against this idea that I was weak, frail, miniscule, unimportant... I have never wanted to upset people, ruffle feathers, branch out too far.  If it was comfortable or a little outside of my comfort zone, I could be happy... but I never pushed much.  I never wanted to offend people by accident.  I did not want to open up my insecurities that far.  I was scared.  I am scared.  So maybe it is about learning that its okay to pray big dreams, work hard to achieve them and try hard enough to reach people that they just might be offended, but do it in a way that still shows my care and love for them.  I do not have to be timid in sharing any part of my journey or any part of my future or any part of how it has changed my life or my family's for the better.  This is who I am and this is who I want to be.  I want to break free and share...

In about seven to nine weeks, we will be welcoming a new baby girl into our family.  We will be in yet another new phase of our family and our lives and in a lot of ways, we will have come full circle from that day in January when we received the worst news of our lives to date, that we had lost our baby, Squirt.  It by no means erases our memories or thoughts of our babies gone too soon or my health going into limbo for so long.  It does not negate our views on family or life.  If anything, it just enhances them and makes them that much more clear.  I have learned SO much about who I am as a wife, a mother, a baby loss mother, a Beachbody coach, a friend, a daughter, a sister and a woman in Christ... Through all of our struggles, God has remained FAITHFUL and I plan to return the favor.  I plan to LIVE this year, no excuses... I will be INTENTIONAL and GENUINE even when it hurts, even when others do not like it.  I will push harder and work more carefully to achieve my goals and set up a future for my family that I am proud of... and I will never, ever forget how God blessed me with the absolute best friend and husband in the world, my David!

That is all for now...

As always,
Melis

Copyright Photos @Sara Story Photography
sarastory2008@gmail.com, (831) 588-7345

Feeling Weary? Need some inspiration? This is where I am today...

When I went to bed last night, I had no intention of writing a blog today.  Yet after the night and morning I had, I felt it was a good idea...

Poor Joy Joy wasn't feeling well yesterday.  She had just come off a low-grade temperature the day before and seemed to be recovering until she started yelling.... and yelling.  Poor girl was in pain but I did not know how much.  I tried appropriate medicines we had at home as well as just helping her to relax.  I distracted her and tried to help her rest.  As the day progressed, it seemed she was handling things okay so I sent her to bed on the futon near me just to make sure.  Unfortunately the night did not go well... at all.  By 8 am, I was beyond frustrated and was more sure than ever my sweet girl had an ear infection.  Her fever had broken 24 hours before but she just could not sleep and kept pointing to her ear.  She was not letting up.  

Unfortunately, it took longer than we would like to get out of the house, even with the hospital a few minutes away.  Fortunately for us, the ER seemed to be ready for all the moms with kiddos as they brought the families in to triage and into a bed in the hall or room near the front rather quickly.  At first I was a little peeved but then realized with the pain Joy seemed to be experiencing this may be working to our advantage.  The doctor on duty met with the family nearest to us for a little bit, argued with the parent briefly about how important it was for the child to find a way to get their child to take the medicine, repeated "virus everyone has right now" multiple times and zoomed on over to us.  He double checked what we were there for, checked her ear, confirmed the ear infection after inspection (as well as the other for good measure), told me what he was prescribing and zoomed off.  Not 5 minutes later, we had discharge instructions and a few signatures later we were on our way to Costco for her medicine.  Arriving at the pharmacy, I realized things might take a little longer with her new insurance card and a tech being trained but I sat with my sweet girl while Micah hovered around nearby smiling and being silly.  These things seemed to help at least a little bit.  Then, we headed for the car and before long, she had the medicine in her system and a quick visit to Daddy and stop for orange juice and we were home.... and now she is sleeping.

It was noon when we arrived home.  I hadn't eaten anything and I was overwhelmed by messages to read and respond to.  I am supposed to be on a high carb diet for a few days prior to my 3 hr glucose test coming up Monday so clearly I got a late start on that for the day.  It will happen.  I hopefully won't feel so weak or tired much longer.  I am praying tonight will be much more restful in this house tonight... for all of this.  And even after all of this, I just want to encourage all of you parents out there, all of my friends and others who are struggling with anything today... 

         ...find peace in our Lord, find solace in His comfort, find a minute or two at least just to breathe today and take this day in before it ends.  We have NO idea what tomorrow will bring but it is definitely okay to not be okay all of the time and to take things as they come, in stride, as you are able.  I hope this can be a comfort to some of you today. 

I saw a pretty cool image today as I was searching through things online that said the following, 

"When your troubles try to drag you down remember that you were made to soar." 

When you're ready, revel in that, my friend and take it to heart.  

                "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31, NIV)

I need to eat some more and hopefully feel a little better.  I can't wait to continue to share with you more as I keep exploring the direction for this year for my family and how God can use me.

As always,

Melis

P.S. If you do pray, I ask for your prayers today as I am especially worn and weary today and we have another long day at home while my sweet hubby works a 12 hour shift to provide for us.

1st day of High Carbin' it up & My 1st Giveaway EVER!

How have you all been doing?  Once again, I was hit with what to talk to you about.  It isn't that there isn't anything to talk about, it is that I often don't see what I have to say as important to others.  Does anyone else struggle with this?  I often get so caught up in the BIG posts that I forget that being real is what got me going in the first place... and it is what keeps me going and writing day in and day out.

I have a sick kiddo around here again.  I love her to pieces so I feel bad for her.  Yesterday, she would barely move or eat.  She told me she had a sore throat and he had a high temp as well.  So today she gets to stay home from school.  Fortunately, last night went better than the last and the kids enjoyed the "family sleepover" in our bedroom.  Today, she is starting to act like herself so we might attempt some homework!  ;-)

And we did do our maternity shoot on Monday with the fabulous Sara Story!  I so wish I had a website or Facebook for her but as far as I know, she is only reachable by phone at the moment.  Anyway, she was amazing & she IS amazing!  I was having a truly rough and grumpy day, feeling defeated and no where near confident.  I was irritated because I forgot to deal with my nails and I didn't have accessories and this one time I was doing something special, I couldn't get it together.  I was complaining about hubby not getting me or supporting me like I wanted and so on... and my mood didn't get any better when we were in not one but TWO near car accidents on the freeway on our hour drive there.  Thankfully, hubby was driving and saw both coming and was able to just avoid both cars who decided to back up or move over WITHOUT looking while driving.  (And for the record, hubby is plenty supportive.  I was being nit picky & whiny.)  

Sara made us feel at ease.  She picked a place that she loved and knew.  (She only lives in the area 6 months out of the year.)  She had me do things I didn't understand but I totally submitted to her wishes.  She asked what I was thinking and even warned me when we were down to a few photos left to shoot so we didn't miss anything important.  (TWO key things here: She shoots in ALL film & I am getting a photo with our beloved angel bears, as well as Baby Girl's.)  She was also so great with Micah.  He is usually in a fabulous mood when cameras around but he was just getting over a bug.  It looks like she got some great action shots.  So... I am DEFINITELY looking forward to getting those back!

On another note, today is the first of three days where I am on a High Carb diet via my OBGYN's instructions.  I failed my first glucose test by one point so I take the 3 hour one to rule out or in Gestational Diabetes on Monday.  I am still not sure how I feel about the crazy carb load but I am following directions as I trust my doctor and know that he has mine and baby girl's best interests in mind.  I have to do this for 3 meals for 3 days leading up to the test before a 12 hour fast immediately before it.  I have struggled so much with lack of appetite and nausea during this pregnancy, as well as preferring my protein like crazy so prayers would be appreciated!

And on to the latest news...  Have you seen my blog count?  This is post 98.  That's right.  I am only 2 posts away from 100!  Looking over at my Facebook Coach & like page this morning, I realized I am only 22 likes from 100 there.  SO... to Celebrate these milestones, I am doing my First Ever Giveaway!  I am pretty excited about it!

http://www.giveawaytab.com/mob.php?pageid=518921921574172

So go there & enter, okay? And share with your friends!  And if you have any thoughts on what you would love to read on here or see on my page, let me know!  I would love to get your input!   Watch for posts 99 & 1oo as we get closer...

As always,

Melis

P.S. I wanted to share this totally so table photo of Micah & Abby last night passed out shortly before David came home.

What About This Week!

I've been meaning to write for days but made up plenty of excuses why each time I thought about it was the wrong time.  I might have been in a bad mood or I didn't know what to write or I was about to fall asleep or... fill in the blank!  So today I am writing.

It has been a strange-ish week around here. My kiddos hadn't been sick in ages but sure enough, Joy started coming down with something Monday, on her home school day so we put her to bed early with only half of her homework done and prayed for the best.  She coughed and coughed despite the medicine her sweet Daddy gave her so we opted to keep her home from school for the first time this school year on Tuesday.  Tuesday we had hoped she would perk up and feel better.  Sure enough, she got her homework finished but she was tired and dragged a bit... and as soon as nighttime hit, the coughing was back.  So her sweet Daddy took her temp... 99.8, borderline and gave her medicine again.  By early morning her temp was down a little but we wanted to make sure she was really feeling better, so we kept her home one more day on Wednesday.  Sure enough, she followed me to my OB appt with their office knowing ahead of time she was getting over something and she didn't cough at all from 8am-3pm.  She didn't blow her nose either. And when nighttime came she coughed only a few times and slept the rest of the night through.  She was thrilled of course, when her Daddy woke her up to go on a special field trip with her school Thursday.  I heart grand stories last night and received a very smiley girl, happy to be alive!  So today she went back to school and Micah and I are currently taking it easy and being buddies today :-D

Because of Joy being sick, I canceled most of my plans for the week which was probably good because the new medicine I am on for nausea is currently knocking me out or at least leaving me super drowsy while I adjust to it.  I was however able to see a good friend and talk plans and dreams with life and business which was a nice way to start my day today.  I am enjoying meeting new friends with common bonds through a pregnancy Facebook group and am learning that there is life even during the hardest pregnancy and there will be life afterwards.  The struggles we go through often feel as through we're barely keeping our heads above the water but often teach us so much and give us opportunities we never would have had otherwise.  I am feeling less down than I was earlier in the week and am looking forward to what this weekend and next week brings!

How about you?  What are you looking forward to?  What are you enjoying now?

As always,

Melis

Day 9 ~ The 12 Days After Christmas ~ Off day, anyone?

So glad to have my family...
  They're pretty good at adapting. This motivated mommy was not feeling well today. Still am not. Guessing it's primarily a combo of pregnancy discomforts.  After my last appt on Monday I was doing pretty well and it was nice to know that I had the backups to help manage pain and nausea and help me sleep as needed. However,  after attempting to go to bed early last night and failing,  I woke up beyond exhausted and sore, despite the fact that it appeared I got more than 10 hours of sleep. Oh the joys of pregnancy. 

With around 3 months to go, my kids adapted well to my basic menu for meals and lack of organization for the day. I even got a 20 minute nap. While I realize some of these things are unavoidable until our little princess arrives, I am thankful for my kiddos on my off days... because who doesn't have off days?

Tomorrow will be a new day. We'll go to church and spend some time together and celebrate the fact that David will be off the following day... finally.  I am looking forward to pressing on and working through these days. They're apart of the journey after all.

As always,
Melis

The 12 Days After Christmas ~ Day 6 ~ New Year's Eve

I am not sure if it is just me but did today sneak up on you?  It didn't even sink in when hubby didn't get home until 2 hours after his initial off time.  In fact, I had moments today when I forgot simple things like hours of stores being affected by this "momentous occasion." I think at one point I tried to tell Joy what tomorrow was and she was more concerned about how much closer we were to her next field trip... nice, kid!  Just like your mama ;-) At least that meant I got to take it easier from lunch on today for the most part.  I sure felt like I have needed it.  And it also helped, that hubby made cookies and gave me yummy pizza.  But no, for the most part, today was just another day in this household.  Hubby went to work, stayed a little longer.  The kids and I ran a few errands.  They went to bed fairly close to their normal bedtime.  And tomorrow David s tarts 4 days of usual back-to-back shifts.  Oi!

But as little of an occasion my family may see today (yay us), I am looking forward in hopes to a year of LIVing, of Life! I am looking forward to my new challenge group starting on Monday, the 5th (see my Facebook page).  I am looking forward to welcoming our baby girl into the family this spring!  I am looking forward to weddings, a graduation, a retreat and some other events.  I am looking forward to kicking off some great traditions with my own little family and reaching a comfortable level of stability and flexibility.  What are you looking for?  Perhaps that is all that is on my mind at the moment as a little girl does the wave in my tummy :-p  1 hour until midnight here...

God Bless you all.  See you in 2015!  
As always,
Melissa

The 12 Days After Christmas ~ Day 5 ~ Mommy's Expectations

Another reminder in "mommyhood" ~ Just because you did it for them does not mean they will necessarily understand or appreciate it... However,  if that is why you became a parent... :-/

Drove to Livermore to run a helpful errand or two and quickly discovered with a friend a last minute playdate could be arranged but not until later in the afternoon. So this mommy played "surprise" & tried to make lunch and the trips in between fun and enjoyable,  despite the errands. While my 6 year old seemed to grasp this concept,  my soon-to-be 3 year old could care less.

So what ensued started out reasonable but soon wore this mommy out and brought me to the edge of my own personal sanity. A now broken Christmas train decoration combined with then missing but later found socks of Micah's and a prescription for me made me seriously reconsider this lovely playdate of ours. But as much as I wanted to "teach them a lesson, " my softie, Christmas break heart took over. A closed coffee shop later, mommy and the kiddos got a 45 minute play date at the windy park. (I don't think Micah even noticed the wind though.  Haha)

We ended up with errands once we made it back home but I was blessed with some help from the hubby. I am now sitting here in bed realizing I made it to 25 weeks with this little princess and tomorrow is a new day and I have no plans to go anywhere... at all! Looks like 14 more weeks max at this point!

As always,
Melis

P.S. When your doc recommends a maternity support belt that your hubby graciously buys you the same day and you immediately notice a positive change from, do not... I repeat do not forget to put it on in the morning before you leave the house!! Oi... preggo brain...

The 12 Days After Christmas ~ Day 3

I was planning on a description of the last 24 hours of our visit with family in this post but I am not feeling 100%, not even 70% so I am going to make this a brief one...

I posted a little bit on my 1st challenge group of the year on my Facebook page.  I am pretty excited about getting back into it and helping some of you start a "New Year, New You" ~ I truly hope you will consider joining me.  It is a mere 3 weeks and will go by so quickly and it is all about encouragement and getting reinspired in a new year.  The trip was a fairly good one and we made our way home this afternoon, stopping to eat dinner with Hubby on his break this evening.  Micah walked in and promptly got into several boxes & baskets while I brought up the bare necessities from the car.  Abby jumped all over us to welcome us home.  Since both kiddos napped today, they're both more awake than I would like but are in the process of going to sleep for the night.  I plan to join them shortly in that land ;-)

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I'll be checking in again tomorrow with some more details (I hope) on things to come.  God bless you all!

As always,
Melissa

12 Days After Christmas ~ Day 2... Time for a NEW Year!

Okay so it is December 27th today, not quite January 1st!  However, as many of you know each year David & I select a word for the year for our family.  (This will be #3!)  And... we have already selected one.  Well, I actually yelled it out over a week ago and further discussed it with David prior to Christmas and he agreed... I think ;-)  I thought about waiting to tell you all about it until December 31st or January 1st... but seeing as my level of patience is well, not the best... I have decided to share it with you all here on my blog, on the 2nd day AFTER Christmas!  Many of you may wonder what I am referring to.  A few years back, I heard someone on the radio saying that instead of a list of resolutions each year, they focused on ONE word to focus on the for their family.  In 2013, we focused on FAITH.  This was an especially hard one but necessary one as we lost 2 babies and I was hospitalized with a pulmonary embolism this year.  Some people say you get what you ask for.  I say you trust God and get what you get ;-)  God knew what our year would look like long before all of that went down.  As a result of the hardships, we found out more about my health and how to deal with it and how to approach future pregnancies.  I know we also learned a lot about our wonderfully FAITHful God!

In 2014, we hemmed back and forth and settled on CONTENTMENT for the year.  I do not think we were quite 100% at this point.  We were looking at where we had come from and knew we still had to wait for a clearance on my lungs and what that might mean for my health and our family down the road.  We were talking more about normal, everyday things and not just trying to survive.  We did not want to get complacent but we did not want to take anything for granted either. God had brought us through some truly hard, life-altering circumstances and we certainly could not and would not try to erase them.  I will admit this one has been quite the struggle in comparison.  Go figure, right?!  It seems when life circumstances are not so drastic, we often try to take things into our own hands more than we should.  God and I did a lot of talking this year about frustrations and my own struggles to trust Him and be content where He had us.  And frankly,  I do not know if I came out a better person for all of the arguing I actually did.  Yep, arguing.  As I said, this one was quite the struggle for me in the later months of the year...

This brings me to our word of 2015 which I think fits perfectly for where we are and where we WANT to be!  We are Striving.  We are Moving Forward.  We want to Succeed and see things Change for the Better...  We.. Want... To...

For us this means NO MORE Complaining about not being able to do things, about David's bosses not letting him off work to be with us, about not making enough money, or "feeling" happy enough.  It is not dependent on our neighbors to change their ways (whether we agree with them or not, which we most certainly do not).  It is not dependent on whether we make others happy all the time.  It is not our job to make everyone else in our lives happy all of the time either!  It is however about taking responsibility and seizing each opportunity that comes our way!  We have chances to change and be better for it and make a better life for our children.  And I pray we truly seek God in it all and choose to make those decisions that will help us LIVE!!!

So join with us and think about what it is that would make 201?5 the BEST YEAR no matter what is thrown your way.  What will YOU DO?  I have some ideas for you popping up on my Facebook page over the next week or two so stay tuned...

As always,

Melis

12 Days After Christmas ~ Day 1

So as promised, here is the first of my 12 day series following Christmas.  Expect a mix of emotions, ramblings, daily happenings and so on...

Christmas was spent with some of our extended family.  David arrived to my parents' house just after 11 at night on Christmas Eve, due to some "shenanigans" at work.  I was so glad to see him that I didn't care so much about the timing.  At this point, Micah off his schedule had just fallen asleep not too long beforehand.  Micah slept with us so I slept worse than usual, which here meant cold and sore, leaving me to contemplate leaving early.  

We did stay, however, heading over to my aunt and uncle's house later for the afternoon and evening.  David left for home to get home around dark since he had to work 12+ hours each the following 3 days.  It was calm and enjoyable, watching the kids play, enjoying the relative calm and of course, a yummy dinner.  I went to bed a little more hopeful for sleep last night and was pleasantly surprised to do so once Micah was out.

Today was restful, cleaning up my computer and some e-mails with cute children playing near me.  For now, the plan is to stay a few more days so the kiddos can have the run of the place and enjoy the space and backyard here.  I'll breathe more and pray this cold either stays at bay or gets its worse out while I have the "backup" here.  We will head home sometime Sunday and work on reestablishing a routine so when school starts back up, Joy won't be completely caught off guard.

Overall, I am mostly just surprised at the calm.  I came into this week sort of ready for disaster, not because of any particular person but because of the cold and all of the morning sickness I had earlier on in the week.  My creative powers are zapped at the moment it seems.  I have nothing witty to say and my challenge groups are still in my head not developed as planned.  I am busy thinking ahead to the New Year only days away but nothing concrete still...  I hope you all had a blessed Christmas.   I will post again tomorrow, hopefully something more...

As always,
Melis

Merry Christmas Eve!

I am sitting here with a cute little girl in my belly and an almost 3 year old boy calmly playing near me.  My big girl is at church with her Nana, Poppy, aunt, 2 uncles and Great Grandma.  I sit here nursing my sore lower back just thankful to be near family.  David is still working but we'll see him tonight or tomorrow and this little girl of ours kicks enough to remind us of God's miracles in our lives, events we often overlook, because they don't seem so big to us.

Last year, I was feeling completely crummy, followed by a trip to the ER on Christmas Day and a very short yet exhausting trip to see family.  I just wasn't in the right place.  The year before, we had either just lost our first baby or were about to and were completely unaware to this fact.  Those Christmas experiences are not lost on me.  I am fortunate to be able to drive my children to see family, even if I am fatigued and sore.  I am blessed to not hit any traffic along the way and to have family who adores them as I do and give me some much needed relief.

Last night was my Joy Joy's 2nd of 2 dance performances.  Her studio performed "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" & she was able to have some family in attendance last night, even Daddy and Micah!  She was beautiful and excited and has shown so much growth this year.  On our way out, one of her friends handed her a pink rose!  Boy, was she touched!  And again, I sit back amazed at God's goodness in our lives...

Just a week or so ago, we were blessed with some extra food and gift cards.  The kiddos and I found our way into Walmart and out without falling apart and came away with some much needed new shoes, school pants, diapers, a few Christmas supplies, as well as a few food items.  It wasn't expected and it definitely brought me to a place of humbling myself some but I realized God had brought these people and gifts into our lives for a reason and that getting angry, confused and frustrated would not get me anywhere.  For the people involved, they were showing God's love to us at a time when we really needed some things.

In 43 days, my little guy, my Micah Boo turns 3.  I cannot believe it some days.  We welcome his new sister around 2 months afterwards.  Joy turns 7 yet another month or so later and we have half a dozen weddings, graduations and family events spread throughout our spring and summer on the calendar... so far!  I am truly very excited to be able to share with you all our 2015 adventures just around the corner...

However, for now I just want to wish you all a wonderfully Merry Christmas!  There will be a blog series or so to follow in the "12 Days After Christmas" which will also be posted to my Facebook page.  I will be documenting adventures, goals & blessings all around as we head into our New Year, including our "Word of the Year" we have already chosen!  I am so excited to transition into a new chapter in our lives with adventures and blessings I am sure we have not yet discovered!  So come along with me and tell your friends too!  I am here and on Facebook and would love to chat with you as I share about family, health, fitness and adventure!  Maybe you can share with me too?

God Bless You All!
As always,
Melis

24 Weeks & In the Midst...

Imagine this... 

  I am laying on my bed typing, small fluffy dog "snuggled" up to the warm laptop.  Micah just beyond her, under one of my new blankets. (Because if Mommy brings home a new blanket, it must be HIS, right?)  After several hours of pleading and negotiating, Joy sitting next to the end of my bed has finally not only found her play clothes but put them on.  Oh yeah, and Pistachio (Veggie Tales) is playing.  I move to get up briefly, my back yells at me but I press on...

Lunch is pending but clearly there are some other things that need taken care of first.  Apparently, the latest Beachbody fulfillment has arrived while I am out of the room.  Abby felt the need to bark at them and Micah is begging to open it for his Daddy.  And I smell something...

We have some family due to arrive later today for Joy's 2nd dance performance in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."  Micah still has not gotten dressed and is now definitely hungry.  And it sounds like several of us are coming down with something...

In other news, we managed to get a progress pic before David headed out the door for work.  Hoping to update some more later.  Hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season.  Merry Christmas!

As always,

Melis

Don't Lose Hope!

I am 23 weeks pregnant today!  Another week down, another reminder of God's goodness on our lives!  Still plenty of things are not quite the way I would like but today is a testament to His goodness and His power and the reasons I have not given up on all of humanity yet...

A day that started with me telling Joy we were going to have to leave her dance class after Christmas and me contemplating how to deal with that...

It went down quite differently than that actually.  After her mature response, I found myself almost in tears, feeling guilty and frustrated that I could not change things to be better for her.  She is 6.5 and she handled the announcement with grace.  And I could not get it out of my mind.  Fast forward a few hours, several episodes of Chuggington with Micah later, and I was touched...

All I can say is things were taken care of.  At least the big one was and we could deal with the rest of them as we went.  Micah and I headed off to see David on his lunch break at work, where Micah made "dirt angels" on the floor.  (It isn't as bad as it sounds, I promise!)  We visited with David and then headed into Livermore a little early to grab a surprise for Joy and then walk with a new friend and her kiddos.  I was surprised to have a kind stranger return my cart for me at Target where I started to realize how blessed we truly were .  The walk with our new friends was far too short but definitely fun.  We then walked over to pick up Joy from school and dashed off (safely) back to Tracy for dance class.  On the way over, Joy discovered a surprise new dance outfit which she told Micah and I both boldly how much she loved.  Spilled coffee and yet a still pleasant Joy later, we arrived a few minutes late for Jazz but Joy was happy.  And Micah was content.  And I was sitting, reveling in the moments that God created, in the day He planned long before I arrived there.

A few errands and a long wait later, we finished up dinner at Red Robin on the end of my Christmas money.  It just made sense.  So, today I am 23 weeks pregnant and Baby Girl has been kicking up a storm and dancing all over my bladder... repeatedly... but I am genuinely and truly amazed.  So DO NOT lose hope.  God's got ya!

That's all for now...

Melis <3

In the last 36 hours...

...Was encouraged by 2 Michelles

...Visited with my close friend who is hosting my baby shower

..."Outsmarted" Micah when it came to errands today

...Got a little grocery shopping in

...Heard encouraging news about a pregnant friend

...Chatted with one of my best friends in Santa Cruz

...Fell asleep quickly
...I figured out easy, happy dinners for 2 days in a row

...Was given a few pieces of school clothing for my Joy Joy

...Found out my phone survived its latest catastrophe

What are YOU Thankful for???

As always,

Melis

22 Weeks & Counting

Tomorrow marks 22 weeks pregnant with my little rainbow princess and since David had a rare day off, I asked him to take some "bumpies" today. (Excuse my hair, ahem.)  This pregnancy has not been fun... almost at all. In fact,  it's made us really think on whether we want a large family anymore. But that is for another day.

  What it is...
    •A reminder of God's promises
    •A miracle
    •Cuddly
    •A time of reflection
    •Proof I have the right doctors in my corner

Today was one of those preggo days where I spent more time lamenting my hormones than I would of liked. Let's just say the tears kept a flowin' & if they were not flowin' somebody was getting glared at or eyes rolled at.  And David had the day off... Now, normally I would pity him some but today he took it all in stride.  He always seemed to be right there when I least expected it, right when I needed a hug, or an arm around me, or a ridiculous joke to get my mind off things temporarily.

And then there's this little princess inside of me who has kicked pretty much all day long.  (Do babies EVER sleep? Am I in trouble? ) At least her kicks are still fun for the most part. She is a constant reminder of who our God is.

Tomorrow I take on another walk. I feel like it's the little things that keep me from losing every bit of my mind (if there's any left). Most of my walks are shorter these days but I am trying to make the effort to do them anyway. Feel free to join me in setting a walking goal for yourself! (I'm on RunKeeper.)

So another week is upon our little family. Baby girl is AT LEAST as big as a papaya this week.  (Have you met my children?) David works back-to-backs Thursday-Sunday after 6 hour shifts Tues/Wed. Joy soared through her homework today so I am confident in her upcoming week at school. Micah has finally started acknowledging his little sister (well, sort of). And Abby... she is still fluffy.

Another week in the lives of this Voeltz Family ahead. What is your family up to this week???

As always,
Melis

Miracles Come in Different Shapes & Sizes...

As I sit here cradling my little belly, I can't help but thank God for the blessing of this precious baby girl.  I read something this morning that really put things in perspective for me from a personal standpoint~ "If you don't believe in miracles, perhaps you've forgotten you are one."  This applies to anyone.  But in my personal life, I've found myself calling all of my children miracles...

Micah & Joy were both conceived and born before I discovered my Factor V Leiden clotting disorder.  I had no complications or serious issues with either pregnancy.  Baby girl due this coming spring is a miracle because we found out why we lost our 2 precious angels and were able to put me on an injection that would medically mean this little girl would most likely make it safely into our arms... If you ask me, without God none of them are possible, including my own husband who I feel blessed to have in my life, a man I met at church during middle school.  Clearly, I didn't know God's plan then... as we didn't start dating until 8 years after we met ;-)

Miracles, Blessings, Thankfulness... this is where I am tonight as I pray for God's leading as we move forward.  What are you thankful for???

As always,
Melis

Dinner Win!

Many of you know most of 2013 I resisted doing any major cooking or baking.  Life was hard and my kitchen made me mad so I chose to just stay away.  This meant that, yes a lot of microwaving and much more takeout happened than any sane mom would like.  However this was life.  And being that I actually do enjoy cooking and baking, it felt a little weird.  So, this year one of my goals has been to really get back into baking and cooking.  And it turns out I picked a pretty good time.  Joy is ripe to help me bake and apparently is learning that just because you haven't had the food doesn't make it bad.

This was especially important tonight.  If you have spent anytime talking to me about my childhood, you likely know what my favorite food was growing up, nothing frilly, nothing fancy but it was a big deal.  My parents always called it Chicken Lickin' Porkchops and it was mostly done in a crockpot.  This recipe is also what inspired my own love and use of the crockpot.  For whatever reason though, I only recently bothered to find out how to make it.  And realizing we'd NEVER eaten porkchops in this little family of ours EVER, tonight became the night.  (Plus, I can use the protein ;-) )  So, I attempted it with a different soup because I forgot to the buy the right one but I knew it wasn't a crucial change.  Joy originally told me she wouldn't be having any.  Her tune changed as she realized this was dinner.  Micah will eat just about anything but with Joy its hard to know some days.

Much to my surprise, she not only tried it, she asked for seconds with a smile before the side dish was even on the plate (one of her favorites too).  So for me, a dinner win also reminds me how much I love to cook for my family and eat real food.  It also inspires me to keep on cooking, even when the days are hard.

Voeltz Family Update

A month & a half ago I posted & not again... 

~It sure feels like a lot longer than that.  To be honest, I just didn't know what to say.  As hard as this year has been, these past couple of months have been the most emotional for me.  I feel like the ups & downs are apart of my life now.  I am used to tears, mood swings & settling in for my evenings of irritability.  Micah lately has begun sleeping even worse. He's more stubborn & I'm more sensitive but together we cuddle so well.  I've been told over & over to let myself grieve, let myself have bad days, to be okay with a little bit done at a time but it doesn't stop the guilt some days.  I want to do more, be a better mom, wife, friend... I've found myself spending more time at home, less time online, finding things like baking & craft projects to focus on.  I try to regularly post thankfulness on Facebook & stay aware of who I am now & not try to be anyone else.  David's schedule has regulated recently for the time being & he recently got a small raise that doesn't get us out of the woods but it helps some nonetheless.  I often go to bed early & the other nights I stay awake waiting for my David to come home for that hug & chat before sleeping.  My pain levels have dropped quite a bit & my "womanly" issues since the summer have finally started to improve.  After a lot of time staying home, I  have recently started to organize a play date here & there, a walk or a meet up with a friend as time & sensitivity allows.  Life isn't easy & I guess I just wasn't ready to tell you all that, that months later, I am struggling emotionally more than ever.  As we head towards the New Year, David & I dread our Squirt's first angelversary & our Little One's original due date, just 2 days apart towards the middle of January.  I've spent a lot of time focusing on the holidays, projects & anything that will help me through the day to be a better mom to my kids.  David has been amazing.  Its amazing how far our marriage has come in the 6+ years.  Just the other day, he said all of the right things & knew when to hold me & how to get us through our morning & out the door in time.  My parents have been marvelous too as I have spent many a Sunday this fall at their place dealing with the stresses, emotions, & side effects of medications. I'm looking forward to returning to Home Front with David after the New Year & also glad Bible Study will return as well.  Just today, a friend & I set up a standing play date.  Looking forward to having that time with her while our kiddos play.  We said goodbye to one of our vehicles recently.  David was hit at a stoplight & the insurance company deemed it a total loss.  We've got some decisions to make.  So ups, downs... they're normal~

How can you pray for us?  Pray we can set me up with regular counseling to help healing & processing for me.  Pray for continued stability in David's schedule & that it won't be too long before the promotion & next raise.  Pray for David's & my emotional health. This year of Faith has tested us through & through & there are days we feel like we are constantly running for cover. Please pray for our kiddos as well.  It can't be easy walking on egg shells around Mommy & Daddy.  Please pray as we approach 6 months of pulmonary embolism medicine at the end of January.  If all is clear then, I will be pulled off of the medicine, put on aspirin for a little bit & able to have a full workup done, hopefully for more answers for us. 

Some praises?  Joy absolutely loves school.  We are very thankful for TVCCA & Mrs. Beasley. Thank God David wasn't hurt in the accident,  Considering his ongoing back problems, we are glad nothing got worse.  We are thankful my pain levels have dropped. We are blessed with amazing friends that have showered us with love & prayers during this very difficult year.

We appreciate all of the support.  Hopefully I will be blogging again more these days.
As always,
Melissa

I've Got My Joy Joy Joy Joy...

I love that we named her Joy. I know my Daddy is glad as well.  When we gave him our initial list of names, I got the strangest look & a comment on how was anyone to spell those correctly.  Then my doctor mentioned how active Joy was. That was it. I associated active with happy, and happy with joyful and the name was set... around 20 weeks or so.

Over the years, many of you know I have struggled to be the best mom to her I can be.  She was great at eating and sleeping in the early days but cried a bit.  Being a first time mom, I cried then too and just got more and more frustrated.  As she went through her toddler years, she tested, pushed, pulled & tried to see what she could get away with.  It wasn't until Micah arrived that I started to appreciate her in the ways I should.  It was hard.  I was tired, confused & often felt so very judged.

Two has definitely been easier most days for me.  They play together & love on each other.  And Joy, she really is our joy. She makes me smile so very much. I love taking her to school & picking her up as well.  I love our "Mommy, Joy" dates that are usually just browsing stores or grocery shopping, occasionally with lunch or a small take-home treat thrown in there.  One of the things I love most about my Joy Joy is her heart for others.  She constantly wants to help others clean up their messes or obey their parents.  She wants to make a picture or "book" for just about everyone she knows some days.  Some, like her teacher get at least one a week these days!  Speaking of which, she's artistic!  I cannot draw to save my life!  I get creative but not in that way.  She is amazing!

This little girl continues to light up our lives & make us proud!  I cannot believe she is already a month into Kindergarten almost.  Its unreal some days.  Her busy little life has made mine so much more enjoyable though.  I love you, Joy Joy!  So proud to be your mom!

That's all for now...
*Melis*

Blood draw, the kindness of strangers, weak & headaches, INR & hubby...

Is the title long enough?

I'll admit, feeling a bit guilty I have written much lately. That about sums it up but I am guessing its still confusing, yes? So, I'll bite!  I'll give you some more... I guess ;)

I feel like I have an eternity to update.  I'll start where I can...

What a day yesterday was!  I woke up cuddled next to my little boy (who is growing way too fast by the way).  He most always finds his way into our bed just a few hours before wake up these days. I don't have the heart to turn him away so I ask David to grab him.  When David grabbed him, he set him between us.  Micah moved around, smirked & cuddled up to me.  I love my little mama's boy!  It is so good to be loved by him & wake up next to him.  It made it really hard to get out of bed this morning. But, alas it had to happen.

Fortunately, David already was getting Joy up, her uniform picked out, her lunch made... you name it! Two days in a row I drop the ball.  Two days in a row he hits it out of the park!! He is beyond what I could have imagined in the little, everyday things of life, I must say.  But getting back to my day... As I slowly got ready, I encouraged my Joy Joy to get ready as Micah slept soundly in the background, still laying on our bed.  She was slow to get ready, as she is most days but cheerful nonetheless & David showed no signs of rushing her, despite the time on the clock.  I frantically ran around myself, hoping to find a jacket or a sweater I liked... or something but gave up, asking if it was okay if I headed out for my blood draw.  There seems to be a line these days & I rarely remember to make an appointment.  He agreed & I headed out the door... COLD.  As soon as I started the car I realized I was missing my phone but brushed it off as I knew I would be home long before David & Micah anyway.

To my surprise, I was one of the first to arrive, just 5 minutes or so shy of 7am.  By 7:15am I was back in the car & on my way to grab coffee across town.  *This one was free so I wasn't passing it up!)  I noticed the "check gauges" light on but brushed it off for the most part as I knew I had put enough gas in the day before & David always reminds me I am okay to drive.  I grabbed my coffee shortly after and started towards home.  And then it happened, I was running out of gas.  I was out within seconds & freaked.  I panicked. No phone and no clue how to get it, the nearest gas station was less than a half mile away but I couldn't remember if the gas can was in the back or not. Relieved to find it, I tried to put the tiny amount in it in my car.  No luck of that helping. I contemplated my next move, deciding to grab my keys, purse & the gas can & ran to the gas station. I was flustered but thankful I had some cash on me, even if it was meant for something else initially. It was my only form of payment in that moment.  I got in line & in light tears asked the guy how much I needed and how much it would cost & then headed out to fill it up.  Only it wouldn't fill up.  Fortunately for me, another attendant noticed my frustration and offered to help me.  I gladly accepted and he mentioned sometimes you have to "re-click" the nozzle in and out of its holder and then try again.  He did & I was thrilled. He asked if I knew what to do and I responded with a definite "yes!" as I had troubleshooted the gas can back at the car just minutes before.

Feeling a little more relieved, I headed for the car, only to see what I thought was a cop behind it. Panicked I was now receiving a ticket, I started to run but I had a crosswalk on a major street in front of me and was in my walking sandals.  (Yes, walking.  I love them for that because I am not a "shoe person" but they are not good for running.)  He was gone before I got there. I was nervous. Upon arriving, however, no ticket... phew! However, as cars whizzed past & I waited to try & fill my tank, I realized I had NO idea what I was doing. I really didn't The gas just sat in the top & it kept spilling when I tried to push it in. I was panicked yet again, having not even checked the time yet.  Finally, I saw a woman walking past and reached out for help.  She stopped to see what I was up to, saying she didn't know how to fill it either but after talking, offered to help find someone.  I ran after her to the nearby grocery store & we asked some gentleman in front of the store for help. Within minutes, she and both men were there with a funnel helping to fill my gas tank.  They even stayed to make sure my car made it out.  I was saved... for me, such a feat, such a stress. Now, I know how to fill up a gas tank on the side of the road, as long as there is a gas can & station available.

1 1/2 hours after leaving my house I was finally home, just minutes after my confused husband and son.  Unfortunately, it wasn't over for me.  For most of the day, I felt weak, tired & was in a bit of pain.  I had headaches, side aches, back pain... you name it. I could barely move without my eyes fluttering. I was concerned.  Even getting out with my hubby to get something done didn't energize me as normal.  In fact, it seemed to make things worse!  I had canceled a few play dates to try and feel better and it took a LONG time to even think about it.  I even convinced David to do the driving to and from Joy's school today since I was experiencing so many issues;. I was thankful for this extra time to build some of my strength back before he headed to work for the night. He sacrificed most of his day to be here for me! :-D

After arriving home, Joy & I made an attempt at our cotton candy cookies again for Women's Bible Study today.  (Still working out those bugs it seems.)  She got herself ready for dance class and they kiddos at a snack.  Daddy was gone before we knew it and we got ready and headed out for Joy's dance class.  I took her into class, then headed out to run an errand with my Micah Boo.  On our drive back, the lab called.  They asked all of the usual questions and then told me my INR was 3.6.  Yes, that's right. 3.6  After 3 weeks of under my goal range (or therapeutic), it was now over! The clinical pharmacist told me not to worry, that is was better high than low, since low promotes clotting and I have a clotting disorder. She gave me my doses for the week and asked me to do my next blood draw next Thursday. 

What a day!   But it didn't end there. As most of you know, I am praying fervently for my dear friend whose pregnancy has taken a turn towards some troubles.  At 22.5 weeks she has no amniotic fluid left.  Last I heard, baby's kidneys were also still small. Her doctor looked into a rare procedure as a possibility to help her but found out it would likely put her in labor which is not good at this stage.  She said her best chances are to get to at least 24 weeks at this point.  So 10 more days? No contractions as of yet but she is getting painful movements as baby grows with no fluid in the sac.  At 24 weeks, there is a chance the baby may be able to make it.  So miracle of miracles, we are praying!  God has a plan & I continue to pray for her.  Please continue to pray with me. 

After all of that, I was busy trying to keep things updated & done.  Hubby came home a few minutes early.  We took some time together before heading to bed.  The kids slept pretty well too. I prepared for today, a day filled with its own "adventure" but much calmer.  Today is David's 1st of 3 back-to-back days between the Round Tables here in town.  He just started his 2nd shift and should be home around 11.  I miss him.  But I am thankful, oh so thankful for where God is leading us.  So keep the prayers coming & the praises lifted high.  God is so very good to us!

That's all for now..
*Melis*