I am sitting here in my room feeding Micah some rainbow goldfish while Joy gets to watch her one episode on Netflix for the night. Tonight's is "Jake and the Never Land Pirates." All would appear right with the world. This morning we went to church. Our Sunday School class started a new series on parenting so more friends than normal are in this 10 week session. Everyone is in good health as we kick off Joy's 2nd week of school. Today is David's very last day at Wendy's and he gets off in the next 2 hours... LIFE is GOOD!!
January 10, 2013 wasn't like this. That was the day we discovered our Squirt had passed, likely around Christmas. That was the day I was admitted to "deliver," something we hoped would never ever happen again. Only days later, I promised God this would be our "Year of Faith." You should have heard the comments. Even David told me we were asking for it. Asking for what? Isn't God going to do what God is going to do? As a follower of Jesus, how can I not long to be stretched and molded by Him? I knew times would be bumpy, hard, challenging... you name it. I really had no idea what I was in for. I did, however know God was in control and would always be in control. As long as we depended on Him, we were in good hands. He would not leave us.
And things did get worse, for lack of a better word. After keeping our news to a small, select group, we found out on July 23, 2013, we had lost Little One. Both losses had been in the 2nd trimester, something extremely rare I was told. In both cases, I found out because my OB couldn't find a heartbeat with the doppler so I was sent for an ultrasound. In both cases, it was confirmed the baby had no heartbeat. I was miserable this time and was scheduled for a D&C that night. The next 2 days hubby watched over me as the doctor had ordered. Micah stayed at a good friend's house. Joy was already at my parents. The both arrived home that weekend, only for Sunday to come.
I already was not looking forward to Sunday. It was our 6 year wedding anniversary, two days before we had originally planned to find out the gender of Little One. I was dreading passing through that week, knowing we had scheduled it as a present to ourselves. God had other plans. Saturday night I had some discomforts but brushed them off due to utter exhaustion. Sunday came and something just wasn't right. Joy was sick anyway so David and Micah headed to drop off snacks with our Sunday School and I stayed home with Joy. If you don't remember the rest of the story, I will get to the point: Later that night, I was admitted with a pulmonary embolism. I spent a total of 4 days in the hospital with the best nurses on earth taking care of me! I was sent home and had about a week on Lovenox shots and a good 6 months planned on the Coumadin, the anticoagulant that would help my body shrink the blood clot in my lungs.
The next several weeks I visited the ER twice and called once with troubling symptoms. Each time, it was dismissed as fairly normal or gone by that time so the concern no longer remained. I even saw my GP who said she would refer me to a pain management clinic of sorts. So, today I'm feeling pretty decent. The past couple of weeks I have felt more like myself. Praise the Lord! Joy loves school. We love her school and her teacher. Micah is more active than I remember Joy ever being. He is still stubborn about fully walking or talking but does it more and more. He's a happy little boy who sleeps much better these days. (It probably helps that he was finally weaned back towards the end of July.)
So today may seem like an ordinary day to most. Yes, I am in less pain overall but I am fully aware my journey is far from over this year. I do not see my hematologist again until the week before Thanksgiving. If the clot is gone, we will be able to start towards getting some real answers through tests shortly after we hope. We are excited as David is finishing his last shift at Wendy's and we can start the transition of David training more and more at Round Table to advance up progressively over the next year or two. We feel so blessed that being faithful thus far has brought us here and we have so much hope in our future... of going back to school ourselves, putting Micah in preschool down the line, a bigger place a few years out, you name it.. God is taking great care of us and I believe rewarding us for our faithfulness.
At the beginning of the year, my good friend told me they had just finished their "Year of Trust." She told me it was hard but well worth it. I will admit that gave me the teensiest bit of hope to God showing us what miracles He could do but I in no way expected ANY of this. This year has already been EXTREMELY HARD! However, I can already see God's handprints all of it. I am looking forward to the rest of it. I have no clue what is to come but I know now more than ever we made the right decision. This is our "Year of Faith" and I will say it loud & proud!
That's all for now...
*Melis*
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