Don't Lose Hope!

I am 23 weeks pregnant today!  Another week down, another reminder of God's goodness on our lives!  Still plenty of things are not quite the way I would like but today is a testament to His goodness and His power and the reasons I have not given up on all of humanity yet...

A day that started with me telling Joy we were going to have to leave her dance class after Christmas and me contemplating how to deal with that...

It went down quite differently than that actually.  After her mature response, I found myself almost in tears, feeling guilty and frustrated that I could not change things to be better for her.  She is 6.5 and she handled the announcement with grace.  And I could not get it out of my mind.  Fast forward a few hours, several episodes of Chuggington with Micah later, and I was touched...

All I can say is things were taken care of.  At least the big one was and we could deal with the rest of them as we went.  Micah and I headed off to see David on his lunch break at work, where Micah made "dirt angels" on the floor.  (It isn't as bad as it sounds, I promise!)  We visited with David and then headed into Livermore a little early to grab a surprise for Joy and then walk with a new friend and her kiddos.  I was surprised to have a kind stranger return my cart for me at Target where I started to realize how blessed we truly were .  The walk with our new friends was far too short but definitely fun.  We then walked over to pick up Joy from school and dashed off (safely) back to Tracy for dance class.  On the way over, Joy discovered a surprise new dance outfit which she told Micah and I both boldly how much she loved.  Spilled coffee and yet a still pleasant Joy later, we arrived a few minutes late for Jazz but Joy was happy.  And Micah was content.  And I was sitting, reveling in the moments that God created, in the day He planned long before I arrived there.

A few errands and a long wait later, we finished up dinner at Red Robin on the end of my Christmas money.  It just made sense.  So, today I am 23 weeks pregnant and Baby Girl has been kicking up a storm and dancing all over my bladder... repeatedly... but I am genuinely and truly amazed.  So DO NOT lose hope.  God's got ya!

That's all for now...

Melis <3

I am not so happy...

Okay so my usual personality tends towards positivity... seeing the beauty, the good, the lovely in all that I possibly can.  But I will be honest, that has been super hard lately... and I've been grumpy.  And yes, I can blame it on a million things... the clotting disorder, the bipolar disorder, the miscarriages, the blood pressure issues, our less-than-nice neighbors, stolen wallet, stolen cans, grumpy or non-communicative family, friends, coworkers of David's... but I am not going to... or maybe I am?  I 

I am tired.  I miss my friends.  I wish other friends lived closer.  I miss my hubby and wish he could be home more often.  I wish his bosses knew how good they really have it with him, I mean really!  And yes, I will say it.  I wish I had more money, more means to help my kids see what life could really be like.  And yes, we have those moments, those precious times with them and I know they love us!  But I am sometime very ashamed of this place we call home and making them live in a place I don't feel 100% safe in myself, a place where being loud can get us reported to the landlord... all because a 2 & 6 year old were playing.

I have slowly started working on my business again.  (GO Beachbody!)  I have tried to stop making excuses about why I cannot do it.  I will still hurt.  I will still be limited this pregnancy but I am not incapable of being the BEST me I CAN be in THIS place.  Because I am in a different place, I need to adjust and deal with it.  I need to find a ways to share with you all WHERE I am NOW and what that means.  I do not have to stop; I just need to realign?  Does that make sense?

What is on your mind?  Check me out on Facebook if you like...

That's all for now,
Melis

P.S. How cute is this precious girl?! 

P.S.S. Baby girl just kicked me.

In the last 36 hours...

...Was encouraged by 2 Michelles

...Visited with my close friend who is hosting my baby shower

..."Outsmarted" Micah when it came to errands today

...Got a little grocery shopping in

...Heard encouraging news about a pregnant friend

...Chatted with one of my best friends in Santa Cruz

...Fell asleep quickly
...I figured out easy, happy dinners for 2 days in a row

...Was given a few pieces of school clothing for my Joy Joy

...Found out my phone survived its latest catastrophe

What are YOU Thankful for???

As always,

Melis

What was stolen? Broken? Hurt?

Phone appears to be broken... check!

Stolen wallet on Halloween at work (David)... check!

Phone that was working is now overheating and not working again... check!

Popped tire on freeway... check!

Other car won't start... check!

Discover heater does not work... check!

Half of recyclables stolen off of porch... check!

Phone screen officially refuses to turn on again... check!

This is a snapshot of our last month and a half or so...

OR IS IT?

As I cried to my friend today about our recent "disasters" today, I realized how easy it is to focus on the negatives.  Sure finances haven't been anywhere near great for awhile.  Sure, my pregnancy hormones have me crying, puking and forgetting just about everything.  Micah is 2.  Kids are 2.  They survive.  And so do their parents!  Oh, and my phone didn't die for 1.5 months after it started acting up!  The car with the popped tire was partially paid for by someone close to us who heard what happened.  The other car was opened and jumped by our insurance company a day later.  It did not cost us a cent!  (This is why my hubby is in charge of taking care of our insurance.)  The person who stole our recyclables off of our porch... missed some!  Our heater is still broken.. but we have at least a dozen blankets in this house.

And guess what? Even though we deal with struggles... we have people in our lives who care.  One of my friends regularly picks up and brings home my daughter from school 2 of 3 school days each and every week.  Today, when I had a panic about the car not "registering" the little bit of gas I put in, a friend bought me some.  In fact, she bought me more than I needed to get home.  Today,  my close friend who I adore did my hair.  I love going to her.  She always gives me such a good experience and she is a precious, precious friend.  If she allowed, I am sure I could talk her head off for much, much longer.  Last night, hubby cooked me dinner.  (I took photos but they are on the currently broken phone.)  Oh yeah, and he baked cookies... from scratch.  Tonight too!  Do you know how hard it is to feed a pregnant woman?  Especially one who is picky to begin with and has been puking almost every week of her pregnancy??? Oh yeah, and this guy gives foot rubs sometimes before bedtime on his nights without doubles! 

So I guess what I am trying to say is just that... our lives are not always easy... or fun... or what we want them to be for that matter.  We go through stages and seasons, sometimes which feel... way... too... long.  But they don't last forever.  And if you are paying attention, you will often notice those little or bigger blessings God is trying to show you along the way.  When I was on the side of the freeway a few weeks ago, I went through the list of blessings.  Thank goodness the car stopped in Livermore, near friends, 30 minutes from home, not where the road is dangerous or where I do not have cell phone signal.  The car stopped 30 minutes before David was off of work, not in the middle of his shift.  My mom was free to talk to me on the phone while I waited for David and the guy to help me.  It was just a tire, not something worse, not something more expensive.  And we still had our spare available and the guy changed it for us!  Oh yeah, and the kids slept though 99% of the entire experience.  We got home just before midnight.  It was the eve of one of a holiday, a day without schoolwork for Joy... you get my point, right?

I am not asking you to forget what happened or not mourn or grieve or be sad at frustrated.  People have real reasons to be upset, often around the holidays especially.  And it is important as friends to be there for them and listen.  But I guess I am trying to shed a little perspective on things.  It has taken a me 2-3 days of pondering & praying about this blog ent.y to get it here.  And I am not even sure if it came out the way I liked fully.  Feel free to share your thoughts...

As always,

Melis

P.S. Still working on adding more graphics and photos.  It's a work in progress for sure!

22 Weeks & Counting

Tomorrow marks 22 weeks pregnant with my little rainbow princess and since David had a rare day off, I asked him to take some "bumpies" today. (Excuse my hair, ahem.)  This pregnancy has not been fun... almost at all. In fact,  it's made us really think on whether we want a large family anymore. But that is for another day.

  What it is...
    •A reminder of God's promises
    •A miracle
    •Cuddly
    •A time of reflection
    •Proof I have the right doctors in my corner

Today was one of those preggo days where I spent more time lamenting my hormones than I would of liked. Let's just say the tears kept a flowin' & if they were not flowin' somebody was getting glared at or eyes rolled at.  And David had the day off... Now, normally I would pity him some but today he took it all in stride.  He always seemed to be right there when I least expected it, right when I needed a hug, or an arm around me, or a ridiculous joke to get my mind off things temporarily.

And then there's this little princess inside of me who has kicked pretty much all day long.  (Do babies EVER sleep? Am I in trouble? ) At least her kicks are still fun for the most part. She is a constant reminder of who our God is.

Tomorrow I take on another walk. I feel like it's the little things that keep me from losing every bit of my mind (if there's any left). Most of my walks are shorter these days but I am trying to make the effort to do them anyway. Feel free to join me in setting a walking goal for yourself! (I'm on RunKeeper.)

So another week is upon our little family. Baby girl is AT LEAST as big as a papaya this week.  (Have you met my children?) David works back-to-backs Thursday-Sunday after 6 hour shifts Tues/Wed. Joy soared through her homework today so I am confident in her upcoming week at school. Micah has finally started acknowledging his little sister (well, sort of). And Abby... she is still fluffy.

Another week in the lives of this Voeltz Family ahead. What is your family up to this week???

As always,
Melis

Miracles Come in Different Shapes & Sizes...

As I sit here cradling my little belly, I can't help but thank God for the blessing of this precious baby girl.  I read something this morning that really put things in perspective for me from a personal standpoint~ "If you don't believe in miracles, perhaps you've forgotten you are one."  This applies to anyone.  But in my personal life, I've found myself calling all of my children miracles...

Micah & Joy were both conceived and born before I discovered my Factor V Leiden clotting disorder.  I had no complications or serious issues with either pregnancy.  Baby girl due this coming spring is a miracle because we found out why we lost our 2 precious angels and were able to put me on an injection that would medically mean this little girl would most likely make it safely into our arms... If you ask me, without God none of them are possible, including my own husband who I feel blessed to have in my life, a man I met at church during middle school.  Clearly, I didn't know God's plan then... as we didn't start dating until 8 years after we met ;-)

Miracles, Blessings, Thankfulness... this is where I am tonight as I pray for God's leading as we move forward.  What are you thankful for???

As always,
Melis

Sparkly,Fit, Beachy Mama!

Time for a change and some updates!  Remember that announcement I made back in August?  Well, here's me a few weeks ago...

 

I am now 21 weeks, 1 day pregnant according to my dates.  Baby Girl is due April 14th, 2015!  It's been a very trying pregnancy, physically and emotionally but I am seeing the hope, that light that is this beautiful girl inside of me due to come in to this world this coming spring.  I am so excited but also ready to start making some changes elsewhere.  

Due to the trying nature of this pregnancy, I really have struggled to keep a lot of things up as I processed it all and really tried to stay calm and focus.  Hoping to start reaching out and really showing you all a little more again.  So without further ado, I have renamed my page and am renaming my Facebook Coach page to reflect it so I may connect more with those of you out there interested in knowing and learning more...

Sparkly, Fit, Beachy Mama is here!  (Formerly Lions, Giraffes & Puppies) 

I hope to focus more on the details of life as they intersect.  In other words, you won't just hear about medical or pregnancy topics here and my Facebook will have more than just my fitness love!  Does that make sense? Hoping to get some new graphics, headers, etc up as well as some new Challenge Groups launched by the New Year so stay tuned! Have questions? Just ask!  And if you do have some suggestions, let me know!  I hope to make these outlets better all around with these changes! 

Have a fabulous day!

As always,

Melis