I love that we named her Joy. I know my Daddy is glad as well. When we gave him our initial list of names, I got the strangest look & a comment on how was anyone to spell those correctly. Then my doctor mentioned how active Joy was. That was it. I associated active with happy, and happy with joyful and the name was set... around 20 weeks or so.
Over the years, many of you know I have struggled to be the best mom to her I can be. She was great at eating and sleeping in the early days but cried a bit. Being a first time mom, I cried then too and just got more and more frustrated. As she went through her toddler years, she tested, pushed, pulled & tried to see what she could get away with. It wasn't until Micah arrived that I started to appreciate her in the ways I should. It was hard. I was tired, confused & often felt so very judged.
Two has definitely been easier most days for me. They play together & love on each other. And Joy, she really is our joy. She makes me smile so very much. I love taking her to school & picking her up as well. I love our "Mommy, Joy" dates that are usually just browsing stores or grocery shopping, occasionally with lunch or a small take-home treat thrown in there. One of the things I love most about my Joy Joy is her heart for others. She constantly wants to help others clean up their messes or obey their parents. She wants to make a picture or "book" for just about everyone she knows some days. Some, like her teacher get at least one a week these days! Speaking of which, she's artistic! I cannot draw to save my life! I get creative but not in that way. She is amazing!
This little girl continues to light up our lives & make us proud! I cannot believe she is already a month into Kindergarten almost. Its unreal some days. Her busy little life has made mine so much more enjoyable though. I love you, Joy Joy! So proud to be your mom!
That's all for now...
*Melis*
Friday, September 27, 2013
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Blood draw, the kindness of strangers, weak & headaches, INR & hubby...
Is the title long enough?
I'll admit, feeling a bit guilty I have written much lately. That about sums it up but I am guessing its still confusing, yes? So, I'll bite! I'll give you some more... I guess ;)
I feel like I have an eternity to update. I'll start where I can...
What a day yesterday was! I woke up cuddled next to my little boy (who is growing way too fast by the way). He most always finds his way into our bed just a few hours before wake up these days. I don't have the heart to turn him away so I ask David to grab him. When David grabbed him, he set him between us. Micah moved around, smirked & cuddled up to me. I love my little mama's boy! It is so good to be loved by him & wake up next to him. It made it really hard to get out of bed this morning. But, alas it had to happen.
Fortunately, David already was getting Joy up, her uniform picked out, her lunch made... you name it! Two days in a row I drop the ball. Two days in a row he hits it out of the park!! He is beyond what I could have imagined in the little, everyday things of life, I must say. But getting back to my day... As I slowly got ready, I encouraged my Joy Joy to get ready as Micah slept soundly in the background, still laying on our bed. She was slow to get ready, as she is most days but cheerful nonetheless & David showed no signs of rushing her, despite the time on the clock. I frantically ran around myself, hoping to find a jacket or a sweater I liked... or something but gave up, asking if it was okay if I headed out for my blood draw. There seems to be a line these days & I rarely remember to make an appointment. He agreed & I headed out the door... COLD. As soon as I started the car I realized I was missing my phone but brushed it off as I knew I would be home long before David & Micah anyway.
To my surprise, I was one of the first to arrive, just 5 minutes or so shy of 7am. By 7:15am I was back in the car & on my way to grab coffee across town. *This one was free so I wasn't passing it up!) I noticed the "check gauges" light on but brushed it off for the most part as I knew I had put enough gas in the day before & David always reminds me I am okay to drive. I grabbed my coffee shortly after and started towards home. And then it happened, I was running out of gas. I was out within seconds & freaked. I panicked. No phone and no clue how to get it, the nearest gas station was less than a half mile away but I couldn't remember if the gas can was in the back or not. Relieved to find it, I tried to put the tiny amount in it in my car. No luck of that helping. I contemplated my next move, deciding to grab my keys, purse & the gas can & ran to the gas station. I was flustered but thankful I had some cash on me, even if it was meant for something else initially. It was my only form of payment in that moment. I got in line & in light tears asked the guy how much I needed and how much it would cost & then headed out to fill it up. Only it wouldn't fill up. Fortunately for me, another attendant noticed my frustration and offered to help me. I gladly accepted and he mentioned sometimes you have to "re-click" the nozzle in and out of its holder and then try again. He did & I was thrilled. He asked if I knew what to do and I responded with a definite "yes!" as I had troubleshooted the gas can back at the car just minutes before.
Feeling a little more relieved, I headed for the car, only to see what I thought was a cop behind it. Panicked I was now receiving a ticket, I started to run but I had a crosswalk on a major street in front of me and was in my walking sandals. (Yes, walking. I love them for that because I am not a "shoe person" but they are not good for running.) He was gone before I got there. I was nervous. Upon arriving, however, no ticket... phew! However, as cars whizzed past & I waited to try & fill my tank, I realized I had NO idea what I was doing. I really didn't The gas just sat in the top & it kept spilling when I tried to push it in. I was panicked yet again, having not even checked the time yet. Finally, I saw a woman walking past and reached out for help. She stopped to see what I was up to, saying she didn't know how to fill it either but after talking, offered to help find someone. I ran after her to the nearby grocery store & we asked some gentleman in front of the store for help. Within minutes, she and both men were there with a funnel helping to fill my gas tank. They even stayed to make sure my car made it out. I was saved... for me, such a feat, such a stress. Now, I know how to fill up a gas tank on the side of the road, as long as there is a gas can & station available.
1 1/2 hours after leaving my house I was finally home, just minutes after my confused husband and son. Unfortunately, it wasn't over for me. For most of the day, I felt weak, tired & was in a bit of pain. I had headaches, side aches, back pain... you name it. I could barely move without my eyes fluttering. I was concerned. Even getting out with my hubby to get something done didn't energize me as normal. In fact, it seemed to make things worse! I had canceled a few play dates to try and feel better and it took a LONG time to even think about it. I even convinced David to do the driving to and from Joy's school today since I was experiencing so many issues;. I was thankful for this extra time to build some of my strength back before he headed to work for the night. He sacrificed most of his day to be here for me! :-D
After arriving home, Joy & I made an attempt at our cotton candy cookies again for Women's Bible Study today. (Still working out those bugs it seems.) She got herself ready for dance class and they kiddos at a snack. Daddy was gone before we knew it and we got ready and headed out for Joy's dance class. I took her into class, then headed out to run an errand with my Micah Boo. On our drive back, the lab called. They asked all of the usual questions and then told me my INR was 3.6. Yes, that's right. 3.6 After 3 weeks of under my goal range (or therapeutic), it was now over! The clinical pharmacist told me not to worry, that is was better high than low, since low promotes clotting and I have a clotting disorder. She gave me my doses for the week and asked me to do my next blood draw next Thursday.
What a day! But it didn't end there. As most of you know, I am praying fervently for my dear friend whose pregnancy has taken a turn towards some troubles. At 22.5 weeks she has no amniotic fluid left. Last I heard, baby's kidneys were also still small. Her doctor looked into a rare procedure as a possibility to help her but found out it would likely put her in labor which is not good at this stage. She said her best chances are to get to at least 24 weeks at this point. So 10 more days? No contractions as of yet but she is getting painful movements as baby grows with no fluid in the sac. At 24 weeks, there is a chance the baby may be able to make it. So miracle of miracles, we are praying! God has a plan & I continue to pray for her. Please continue to pray with me.
After all of that, I was busy trying to keep things updated & done. Hubby came home a few minutes early. We took some time together before heading to bed. The kids slept pretty well too. I prepared for today, a day filled with its own "adventure" but much calmer. Today is David's 1st of 3 back-to-back days between the Round Tables here in town. He just started his 2nd shift and should be home around 11. I miss him. But I am thankful, oh so thankful for where God is leading us. So keep the prayers coming & the praises lifted high. God is so very good to us!
That's all for now..
*Melis*
I'll admit, feeling a bit guilty I have written much lately. That about sums it up but I am guessing its still confusing, yes? So, I'll bite! I'll give you some more... I guess ;)
I feel like I have an eternity to update. I'll start where I can...
What a day yesterday was! I woke up cuddled next to my little boy (who is growing way too fast by the way). He most always finds his way into our bed just a few hours before wake up these days. I don't have the heart to turn him away so I ask David to grab him. When David grabbed him, he set him between us. Micah moved around, smirked & cuddled up to me. I love my little mama's boy! It is so good to be loved by him & wake up next to him. It made it really hard to get out of bed this morning. But, alas it had to happen.
Fortunately, David already was getting Joy up, her uniform picked out, her lunch made... you name it! Two days in a row I drop the ball. Two days in a row he hits it out of the park!! He is beyond what I could have imagined in the little, everyday things of life, I must say. But getting back to my day... As I slowly got ready, I encouraged my Joy Joy to get ready as Micah slept soundly in the background, still laying on our bed. She was slow to get ready, as she is most days but cheerful nonetheless & David showed no signs of rushing her, despite the time on the clock. I frantically ran around myself, hoping to find a jacket or a sweater I liked... or something but gave up, asking if it was okay if I headed out for my blood draw. There seems to be a line these days & I rarely remember to make an appointment. He agreed & I headed out the door... COLD. As soon as I started the car I realized I was missing my phone but brushed it off as I knew I would be home long before David & Micah anyway.
To my surprise, I was one of the first to arrive, just 5 minutes or so shy of 7am. By 7:15am I was back in the car & on my way to grab coffee across town. *This one was free so I wasn't passing it up!) I noticed the "check gauges" light on but brushed it off for the most part as I knew I had put enough gas in the day before & David always reminds me I am okay to drive. I grabbed my coffee shortly after and started towards home. And then it happened, I was running out of gas. I was out within seconds & freaked. I panicked. No phone and no clue how to get it, the nearest gas station was less than a half mile away but I couldn't remember if the gas can was in the back or not. Relieved to find it, I tried to put the tiny amount in it in my car. No luck of that helping. I contemplated my next move, deciding to grab my keys, purse & the gas can & ran to the gas station. I was flustered but thankful I had some cash on me, even if it was meant for something else initially. It was my only form of payment in that moment. I got in line & in light tears asked the guy how much I needed and how much it would cost & then headed out to fill it up. Only it wouldn't fill up. Fortunately for me, another attendant noticed my frustration and offered to help me. I gladly accepted and he mentioned sometimes you have to "re-click" the nozzle in and out of its holder and then try again. He did & I was thrilled. He asked if I knew what to do and I responded with a definite "yes!" as I had troubleshooted the gas can back at the car just minutes before.
Feeling a little more relieved, I headed for the car, only to see what I thought was a cop behind it. Panicked I was now receiving a ticket, I started to run but I had a crosswalk on a major street in front of me and was in my walking sandals. (Yes, walking. I love them for that because I am not a "shoe person" but they are not good for running.) He was gone before I got there. I was nervous. Upon arriving, however, no ticket... phew! However, as cars whizzed past & I waited to try & fill my tank, I realized I had NO idea what I was doing. I really didn't The gas just sat in the top & it kept spilling when I tried to push it in. I was panicked yet again, having not even checked the time yet. Finally, I saw a woman walking past and reached out for help. She stopped to see what I was up to, saying she didn't know how to fill it either but after talking, offered to help find someone. I ran after her to the nearby grocery store & we asked some gentleman in front of the store for help. Within minutes, she and both men were there with a funnel helping to fill my gas tank. They even stayed to make sure my car made it out. I was saved... for me, such a feat, such a stress. Now, I know how to fill up a gas tank on the side of the road, as long as there is a gas can & station available.
1 1/2 hours after leaving my house I was finally home, just minutes after my confused husband and son. Unfortunately, it wasn't over for me. For most of the day, I felt weak, tired & was in a bit of pain. I had headaches, side aches, back pain... you name it. I could barely move without my eyes fluttering. I was concerned. Even getting out with my hubby to get something done didn't energize me as normal. In fact, it seemed to make things worse! I had canceled a few play dates to try and feel better and it took a LONG time to even think about it. I even convinced David to do the driving to and from Joy's school today since I was experiencing so many issues;. I was thankful for this extra time to build some of my strength back before he headed to work for the night. He sacrificed most of his day to be here for me! :-D
After arriving home, Joy & I made an attempt at our cotton candy cookies again for Women's Bible Study today. (Still working out those bugs it seems.) She got herself ready for dance class and they kiddos at a snack. Daddy was gone before we knew it and we got ready and headed out for Joy's dance class. I took her into class, then headed out to run an errand with my Micah Boo. On our drive back, the lab called. They asked all of the usual questions and then told me my INR was 3.6. Yes, that's right. 3.6 After 3 weeks of under my goal range (or therapeutic), it was now over! The clinical pharmacist told me not to worry, that is was better high than low, since low promotes clotting and I have a clotting disorder. She gave me my doses for the week and asked me to do my next blood draw next Thursday.
What a day! But it didn't end there. As most of you know, I am praying fervently for my dear friend whose pregnancy has taken a turn towards some troubles. At 22.5 weeks she has no amniotic fluid left. Last I heard, baby's kidneys were also still small. Her doctor looked into a rare procedure as a possibility to help her but found out it would likely put her in labor which is not good at this stage. She said her best chances are to get to at least 24 weeks at this point. So 10 more days? No contractions as of yet but she is getting painful movements as baby grows with no fluid in the sac. At 24 weeks, there is a chance the baby may be able to make it. So miracle of miracles, we are praying! God has a plan & I continue to pray for her. Please continue to pray with me.
After all of that, I was busy trying to keep things updated & done. Hubby came home a few minutes early. We took some time together before heading to bed. The kids slept pretty well too. I prepared for today, a day filled with its own "adventure" but much calmer. Today is David's 1st of 3 back-to-back days between the Round Tables here in town. He just started his 2nd shift and should be home around 11. I miss him. But I am thankful, oh so thankful for where God is leading us. So keep the prayers coming & the praises lifted high. God is so very good to us!
That's all for now..
*Melis*
Monday, September 23, 2013
Special baby update...
So, its that time. Another update for my sweet friend. She's the one doctors told her she was losing her baby. Now about a week later, things aren't appearing to get any better. She was instructed to drink 3-4 quarts of water a day for a little bit. However, when she got her levels checked today, the fluid was lower, pretty much gone. Her doctor fears the baby just won't survive. She is calling up to Stanford to see if there is anything, anything at all... The good news is baby's heart is still beating really strong. Please keep her in your prayers... & her husband & little kids. She is broken. She doesn't know what to do. She is packing her hospital bag at the point. I have no clue what God's plan is in all of this but I do know selfishly I want this baby to make it and be super healthy. I do pray for God's Will but in my heart I want a BIG miracle. So pray as you will, but pray nonetheless. This girl needs our prayers! She is past the 1/2 way point now & really longs for this little one! Thank you to all of you who are praying... I know she truly appreciates it. Keep it up!
That's all for now...
*Melis*
That's all for now...
*Melis*
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Blessed but not depressed...
730 days of praise... If you've seen my Facebook, then you know I have challenged myself to praise God for something new every single day for 2 years straight. Why? Because I am blessed! I did it for a year & it wasn't that hard. This year has been especially challenging for myself & my family but I can't help thanking God for all that He has done in spite of everything that has gone "wrong." So, for this blog I've decided to list some of the things I am thankful for & see where it ends up. Some you may have seen already; some you may see down the line. All are things I am currently thankful for.
1. My hubby ~ Duh! How blessed am I to be married to this guy? We've been married for a little over 6 years but he's been my friend for over 16 years!! He is NOT who I thought God had for me back then but I am so completely thrilled God gave me this handsome man & allowed me to see past the surface & see what a gem this wonderful man is!!
2. My church friends ~ Some of these ladies are truly some of my BEST friends. I have known them all for a year, give or take some but they are blessings beyond blessings to me! They inspire me to be a better me with God by my side. They are often the ones to build me up when I need the encouragement but also challenge me. They remind me what a great church this is & that true, wonderful friends really are out there if you are paying attention.
3. My church ~ Cedar Grove Community Church in Livermore is just the right place for my family! We have been there about 15 months now & as long as God keeps us there we will be more than willing! We have quite a few couples we consider our friends & well as individual relationships we have each formed. The pastors are on point, clearly speaking what is on each of their hearts. It doesn't just tick off all of the boxes, it fits us. And for that, we will be forever thankful!
4. My siblings ~ We may not all have the closest relationships but I can tell you I am glad we all are still willing to talk, even "all grown up." Life has taken us different places but I am glad that I had you 3 along the way to make life interesting & help me not be so bored!
5. My Facebook infant loss group ~ I've been a member for only a short time but these girls know how to encourage! 2 miscarriages in such a short time is not an easy thing to stomach, much less move on from. These girls will listen to anything relating to my loss, my struggles with my PE, my frustrations with something someone said or did... as well as I get to be helpful & prayerful for them as well!
6. My "puppy" ~ Abby puts up with a lot & she deserves more cuddles than she is given. Thankful I have her & hoping I will find more time to spend with her in the future (& give her baths ;) ~ lol)
7. My Micah Boo ~ Such a smiley boy, this little guy bumps into everything, falls off of things, survives his sister & still has a smile on his face at the end of the day! He may not like clothes or being clean & he may have no shame... hehehe but he eats everything you put in front of him & he is by far, the best cuddler in the world!
8. My Joy Joy ~ Wow, I have a kindergartener! She is beautiful, smart, sweet, caring, looking out so often for her brother, keeping him busy when Mommy needs to get something done, loving school, loving baths, learning how to do so many new things like brush her teeth, wash her hair, write her letters- printing & cursive, memorizing verses & poems... And it goes on. I am so proud to be Joy Joy's mommy. There is not another one like her in the world!
9. Sleep ~ This one is funny because I don't get much these days. However, when I do, I am usually OUT! I am thankful to sleep when I can & enjoy cuddling with my Boo when he needs me.
10. My Jesus ~ Who can forget Him? He is not last here because He is last in my heart. He is last to emphasize His importance & place in my heart! God has been so so good to us over this rough year so far, doing so much to save us & love us & show us how to love others!!!
There is so much more to be thankful for but my body is DONE for the day & both of my kids have been asleep for a little while. I will try & type up a part two of this one soon.
That's all for now...
*Melis*
1. My hubby ~ Duh! How blessed am I to be married to this guy? We've been married for a little over 6 years but he's been my friend for over 16 years!! He is NOT who I thought God had for me back then but I am so completely thrilled God gave me this handsome man & allowed me to see past the surface & see what a gem this wonderful man is!!
2. My church friends ~ Some of these ladies are truly some of my BEST friends. I have known them all for a year, give or take some but they are blessings beyond blessings to me! They inspire me to be a better me with God by my side. They are often the ones to build me up when I need the encouragement but also challenge me. They remind me what a great church this is & that true, wonderful friends really are out there if you are paying attention.
3. My church ~ Cedar Grove Community Church in Livermore is just the right place for my family! We have been there about 15 months now & as long as God keeps us there we will be more than willing! We have quite a few couples we consider our friends & well as individual relationships we have each formed. The pastors are on point, clearly speaking what is on each of their hearts. It doesn't just tick off all of the boxes, it fits us. And for that, we will be forever thankful!
4. My siblings ~ We may not all have the closest relationships but I can tell you I am glad we all are still willing to talk, even "all grown up." Life has taken us different places but I am glad that I had you 3 along the way to make life interesting & help me not be so bored!
5. My Facebook infant loss group ~ I've been a member for only a short time but these girls know how to encourage! 2 miscarriages in such a short time is not an easy thing to stomach, much less move on from. These girls will listen to anything relating to my loss, my struggles with my PE, my frustrations with something someone said or did... as well as I get to be helpful & prayerful for them as well!
6. My "puppy" ~ Abby puts up with a lot & she deserves more cuddles than she is given. Thankful I have her & hoping I will find more time to spend with her in the future (& give her baths ;) ~ lol)
7. My Micah Boo ~ Such a smiley boy, this little guy bumps into everything, falls off of things, survives his sister & still has a smile on his face at the end of the day! He may not like clothes or being clean & he may have no shame... hehehe but he eats everything you put in front of him & he is by far, the best cuddler in the world!
8. My Joy Joy ~ Wow, I have a kindergartener! She is beautiful, smart, sweet, caring, looking out so often for her brother, keeping him busy when Mommy needs to get something done, loving school, loving baths, learning how to do so many new things like brush her teeth, wash her hair, write her letters- printing & cursive, memorizing verses & poems... And it goes on. I am so proud to be Joy Joy's mommy. There is not another one like her in the world!
9. Sleep ~ This one is funny because I don't get much these days. However, when I do, I am usually OUT! I am thankful to sleep when I can & enjoy cuddling with my Boo when he needs me.
10. My Jesus ~ Who can forget Him? He is not last here because He is last in my heart. He is last to emphasize His importance & place in my heart! God has been so so good to us over this rough year so far, doing so much to save us & love us & show us how to love others!!!
There is so much more to be thankful for but my body is DONE for the day & both of my kids have been asleep for a little while. I will try & type up a part two of this one soon.
That's all for now...
*Melis*
Friday, September 20, 2013
Prayers for my friends...
Life will never be the same. Yesterday was different than the day before than the day before than the day before... Some days I wake up to pain. Some I had little a care in the world. Some are filled with urgent prayers, some with jubilant praises, & in may cases quite a few of each! This year to this point has been a roller coaster, cliche as it may seem. I have been up & down so many times, I cannot honestly tell you where I am at many points. One of my friends & Bible study leaders today asked me how things were & I could not honestly tell what she was referring to. I do know one thing though.... My God is GREAT!! No matter the tragedy or small feat, large celebration or small side step, MY God is in control of it all! So today I bring you this briefer than normal blog, with a few more urgent & ongoing prayer requests for you...
My good friend who was told her baby wasn't doing well is being much closer monitored by her own doc it seems. I am very happy to hear this! Her doc has asked her to drink 3-4 quarts of water each & every day in attempts to help with the low amniotic fluid. Even though this is not easy for her, she is plodding forward, committing herself to doing the best she can.
Another friend went in for fetal surgery Wednesday for her daughter diagnosed with Spina Bifida. I have not received any updates as of yet but I encourage you to pray for her and her family as she recovers and they wait to see the long-awaited results of whether this in fact helped her daughter.
Both of these women have babies due in January. So please, as you remember pray for them both. They have what feel like long roads ahead of them I am sure but God knows and God is watching out for both of them, their little ones & their families. They have committed themselves to praying & to serving our Lord & have really shown their faith in this so far.
To all who have continued to pray for me & for my family, thank you as well. My INR has been under the past several weeks but again is 1.9, just below the therapeutic range. My dosage of Coumadin was once again increased some and I am doing my best to not let things get to me, as I am still less than 2 months out from the discovery of my PE (that's it?!) & these things take time. I had a successful follow up with my OB recently as well. More on that later...
Pray for my friends, yes? Thanks again!
That's all for now...
*Melis*
My good friend who was told her baby wasn't doing well is being much closer monitored by her own doc it seems. I am very happy to hear this! Her doc has asked her to drink 3-4 quarts of water each & every day in attempts to help with the low amniotic fluid. Even though this is not easy for her, she is plodding forward, committing herself to doing the best she can.
Another friend went in for fetal surgery Wednesday for her daughter diagnosed with Spina Bifida. I have not received any updates as of yet but I encourage you to pray for her and her family as she recovers and they wait to see the long-awaited results of whether this in fact helped her daughter.
Both of these women have babies due in January. So please, as you remember pray for them both. They have what feel like long roads ahead of them I am sure but God knows and God is watching out for both of them, their little ones & their families. They have committed themselves to praying & to serving our Lord & have really shown their faith in this so far.
To all who have continued to pray for me & for my family, thank you as well. My INR has been under the past several weeks but again is 1.9, just below the therapeutic range. My dosage of Coumadin was once again increased some and I am doing my best to not let things get to me, as I am still less than 2 months out from the discovery of my PE (that's it?!) & these things take time. I had a successful follow up with my OB recently as well. More on that later...
Pray for my friends, yes? Thanks again!
That's all for now...
*Melis*
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Bashful and Doc
Sneezy... Not so much lately. Pleasantly surprised though because of where I live.
Dopey... Nope, thank you very much...
Bashful... Hardly, but I definitely have my moments!
Doc... Well I saw my hematologist recently. Does that count?
Happy... I have been praising the Lord for all He has been doing in our lives lately!
Sleepy... Just about always. My eyes are pretty much done for tonight...
And finally.... Grumpy... Sorry world! This has been my day-ish...
Woke up, was doing okay but that changed when I hit traffic. I have made it a habit to double check the best way to go whenever I need to head towards Livermore. Today, I did. Unfortunately, I somehow missed the diversion off of the freeway (an exit I have never taken) to avoid was was essentially 15 minutes to travel less than a mile to the next nearest exit to get to Bible Study. I went from 10 minutes early to 10 minutes late JUST LIKE THAT!
Sigh... I knew it wasn't that big of a deal. Then it was the 2 close friends missing Bible Study today (for very good reasons). Then it was another good friend leaving early... Then it was my kids melting down and/or clinging to me as they were clearly overtired during and following a play date, doing Joy's homeschool work, struggling to keep her focused towards the end. Ultimately, it really wasn't likely about any of the above. I was grumpy because the past few days I have relived my losses over and over. From David mentioning those children had so much potential as he started to grieve to grieving and praying fervently for my good friend who is being told her baby won't make it. I just keep reliving it. I told several leaders at Bible Study about my friend, passing along the word to gain the prayer. I hurt. I am tired. And it surely isn't over. It never will be. I whimpered as a friend said the doctor doesn't know why she has experienced multiple losses of her own. I cried inside hearing of another woman losing her baby as we speak. My heart hurts. I never knew this pain could strike to fast and so hard, just hoping, praying and grieving for others' losses as well. It really Never Ends... It stays put in the back of your mind for awhile but it comes back to the forefront sometimes on the worst days, at the worst possible tines.
I will continue to love you my Sweet Little One & Squirt. I can only imagine how you must be enjoying Heaven. I look forward to being reunited one day For now, I will continue to pray and rest my hope in the Lord... and pray Grumpy stays home tomorrow.
*Melis*
Dopey... Nope, thank you very much...
Bashful... Hardly, but I definitely have my moments!
Doc... Well I saw my hematologist recently. Does that count?
Happy... I have been praising the Lord for all He has been doing in our lives lately!
Sleepy... Just about always. My eyes are pretty much done for tonight...
And finally.... Grumpy... Sorry world! This has been my day-ish...
Woke up, was doing okay but that changed when I hit traffic. I have made it a habit to double check the best way to go whenever I need to head towards Livermore. Today, I did. Unfortunately, I somehow missed the diversion off of the freeway (an exit I have never taken) to avoid was was essentially 15 minutes to travel less than a mile to the next nearest exit to get to Bible Study. I went from 10 minutes early to 10 minutes late JUST LIKE THAT!
Sigh... I knew it wasn't that big of a deal. Then it was the 2 close friends missing Bible Study today (for very good reasons). Then it was another good friend leaving early... Then it was my kids melting down and/or clinging to me as they were clearly overtired during and following a play date, doing Joy's homeschool work, struggling to keep her focused towards the end. Ultimately, it really wasn't likely about any of the above. I was grumpy because the past few days I have relived my losses over and over. From David mentioning those children had so much potential as he started to grieve to grieving and praying fervently for my good friend who is being told her baby won't make it. I just keep reliving it. I told several leaders at Bible Study about my friend, passing along the word to gain the prayer. I hurt. I am tired. And it surely isn't over. It never will be. I whimpered as a friend said the doctor doesn't know why she has experienced multiple losses of her own. I cried inside hearing of another woman losing her baby as we speak. My heart hurts. I never knew this pain could strike to fast and so hard, just hoping, praying and grieving for others' losses as well. It really Never Ends... It stays put in the back of your mind for awhile but it comes back to the forefront sometimes on the worst days, at the worst possible tines.
I will continue to love you my Sweet Little One & Squirt. I can only imagine how you must be enjoying Heaven. I look forward to being reunited one day For now, I will continue to pray and rest my hope in the Lord... and pray Grumpy stays home tomorrow.
*Melis*
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
My heart breaks!!!
My heart breaks as I hear news of a good friend finding out bad news. She is dealing with potentially losing her baby. She is 20 weeks. She went for her anatomy scan yesterday and they saw an odd fluid-filled sac. Today, she went back for a 3d ultrasound. They couldn't tell her much but told her the fluid levels were low and the kidneys were really small. She was told baby won't make it... either to birth or this little one will die shortly after! A genetic specialist even told her to terminate! What news! When I saw my dear friend just 2 weeks ago, everything had been going well. She had been eating well, taking care of herself and her doctor was happy with how everything was. I can't even imagine getting that far and being told to say goodbye...
As someone who has lost 2 babies in the 2nd trimester, I know the losses are not easy, as if any loss really is. BUT to be told something is wrong and if you see your baby, you'll be saying goodbye? My heart.... hurts... BADLY!!!
So please join with me in prayer for a MIRACLE! God can do all things.... ANYTHING! I believe God has a greater plan in all of this but I HOPE & PRAY it won't end in sorrow. Miracles DO happen EVERY single day. So, please pray! I know she will appreciate every word lifted up to our Jesus for her and her baby.
Thanks...
That's all for now,
*Melis*
As someone who has lost 2 babies in the 2nd trimester, I know the losses are not easy, as if any loss really is. BUT to be told something is wrong and if you see your baby, you'll be saying goodbye? My heart.... hurts... BADLY!!!
So please join with me in prayer for a MIRACLE! God can do all things.... ANYTHING! I believe God has a greater plan in all of this but I HOPE & PRAY it won't end in sorrow. Miracles DO happen EVERY single day. So, please pray! I know she will appreciate every word lifted up to our Jesus for her and her baby.
Thanks...
That's all for now,
*Melis*
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