I am sitting here in my room feeding Micah some rainbow goldfish while Joy gets to watch her one episode on Netflix for the night. Tonight's is "Jake and the Never Land Pirates." All would appear right with the world. This morning we went to church. Our Sunday School class started a new series on parenting so more friends than normal are in this 10 week session. Everyone is in good health as we kick off Joy's 2nd week of school. Today is David's very last day at Wendy's and he gets off in the next 2 hours... LIFE is GOOD!!
January 10, 2013 wasn't like this. That was the day we discovered our Squirt had passed, likely around Christmas. That was the day I was admitted to "deliver," something we hoped would never ever happen again. Only days later, I promised God this would be our "Year of Faith." You should have heard the comments. Even David told me we were asking for it. Asking for what? Isn't God going to do what God is going to do? As a follower of Jesus, how can I not long to be stretched and molded by Him? I knew times would be bumpy, hard, challenging... you name it. I really had no idea what I was in for. I did, however know God was in control and would always be in control. As long as we depended on Him, we were in good hands. He would not leave us.
And things did get worse, for lack of a better word. After keeping our news to a small, select group, we found out on July 23, 2013, we had lost Little One. Both losses had been in the 2nd trimester, something extremely rare I was told. In both cases, I found out because my OB couldn't find a heartbeat with the doppler so I was sent for an ultrasound. In both cases, it was confirmed the baby had no heartbeat. I was miserable this time and was scheduled for a D&C that night. The next 2 days hubby watched over me as the doctor had ordered. Micah stayed at a good friend's house. Joy was already at my parents. The both arrived home that weekend, only for Sunday to come.
I already was not looking forward to Sunday. It was our 6 year wedding anniversary, two days before we had originally planned to find out the gender of Little One. I was dreading passing through that week, knowing we had scheduled it as a present to ourselves. God had other plans. Saturday night I had some discomforts but brushed them off due to utter exhaustion. Sunday came and something just wasn't right. Joy was sick anyway so David and Micah headed to drop off snacks with our Sunday School and I stayed home with Joy. If you don't remember the rest of the story, I will get to the point: Later that night, I was admitted with a pulmonary embolism. I spent a total of 4 days in the hospital with the best nurses on earth taking care of me! I was sent home and had about a week on Lovenox shots and a good 6 months planned on the Coumadin, the anticoagulant that would help my body shrink the blood clot in my lungs.
The next several weeks I visited the ER twice and called once with troubling symptoms. Each time, it was dismissed as fairly normal or gone by that time so the concern no longer remained. I even saw my GP who said she would refer me to a pain management clinic of sorts. So, today I'm feeling pretty decent. The past couple of weeks I have felt more like myself. Praise the Lord! Joy loves school. We love her school and her teacher. Micah is more active than I remember Joy ever being. He is still stubborn about fully walking or talking but does it more and more. He's a happy little boy who sleeps much better these days. (It probably helps that he was finally weaned back towards the end of July.)
So today may seem like an ordinary day to most. Yes, I am in less pain overall but I am fully aware my journey is far from over this year. I do not see my hematologist again until the week before Thanksgiving. If the clot is gone, we will be able to start towards getting some real answers through tests shortly after we hope. We are excited as David is finishing his last shift at Wendy's and we can start the transition of David training more and more at Round Table to advance up progressively over the next year or two. We feel so blessed that being faithful thus far has brought us here and we have so much hope in our future... of going back to school ourselves, putting Micah in preschool down the line, a bigger place a few years out, you name it.. God is taking great care of us and I believe rewarding us for our faithfulness.
At the beginning of the year, my good friend told me they had just finished their "Year of Trust." She told me it was hard but well worth it. I will admit that gave me the teensiest bit of hope to God showing us what miracles He could do but I in no way expected ANY of this. This year has already been EXTREMELY HARD! However, I can already see God's handprints all of it. I am looking forward to the rest of it. I have no clue what is to come but I know now more than ever we made the right decision. This is our "Year of Faith" and I will say it loud & proud!
That's all for now...
*Melis*
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Zzzz...
It's only Thursday?
Today was Joy's first "homeschool" day. As apart of the school schedule, Joy spends 3 days at the school and 2 at home doing "extended homework." Today also was the start of the new season of Women's Bible Study at church. Today is also when we had money to buy much needed groceries. What did this mean? I started off the day with some help from David getting the kids ready before heading to grab coffee. We went straight out to church where they played and I got to enjoy the lovely ladies and Bible Study. We then headed to get a little gas, followed by two stores for groceries. We headed by David's work to grab me a quick lunch while Micah slept briefly in the car. We then went home where I brought in and put away groceries, fended off the overtired little boy and started working with Joy on her homework. When I hit a point with questions, we headed back out to several more stores for grocery shopping and to pick up some more pencils for my cute girl. We then headed home where I microwaved Kid Cuisines out of desperation and brought in and put away many, many more groceries. I then sat down with Joy to finish her homework. She then "decorated" her bed and got ready for bed and the kids played for a little bit. Since then, Micah went down. Micah woke up. Joy went down. Micah went back down. And me? I am ready for bed but still have a few things to do.
Was I crazy to think Joy starting school would make things easier? Maybe its the fact that its the first week or that I am driving 30-60 minutes each day right now for school and church days at least both ways once, if not more. Maybe its the fact that the routine isn't set or maybe its just that much more work than I realized. Whatever it is, its exhausting. My pain went up some, not enough to make me cry but enough to be noticeable and take closer together today.
But really... I am excited. I have an excuse to make extra play dates, meaning I see some of my friends more, saving gas in making less trips back and forth. Also, keeping busy tends to keep my spirits up. I am very social, not that its a surprise ;-) I could use a nap though, I mean a bedtime, hehe. Looks like I am starting to fade. Thank you all for the continued prayer. Took my adjusted dose of Coumadin tonight. Next Wednesday we will see if that has made a difference. I bought a lot of juice today. I forgot how much I loved it. My clinical pharmacist said its okay for me to drink the V8 VFusion I like so much as long as its consistent so that made me happen.
Well, I'm drifting so I am gonna head off.
That's all for now...
*Melis*
P.S. Please continue to keep the neighbor situation in your prayers. I sense something brewing and it is never pretty with them, despite anything we do or do not say. Also, with everything going on, I believe I am more susceptible to an emotional outburst, as I don't have a lot of processing time to the still recent miscarriage. Thank you!
Today was Joy's first "homeschool" day. As apart of the school schedule, Joy spends 3 days at the school and 2 at home doing "extended homework." Today also was the start of the new season of Women's Bible Study at church. Today is also when we had money to buy much needed groceries. What did this mean? I started off the day with some help from David getting the kids ready before heading to grab coffee. We went straight out to church where they played and I got to enjoy the lovely ladies and Bible Study. We then headed to get a little gas, followed by two stores for groceries. We headed by David's work to grab me a quick lunch while Micah slept briefly in the car. We then went home where I brought in and put away groceries, fended off the overtired little boy and started working with Joy on her homework. When I hit a point with questions, we headed back out to several more stores for grocery shopping and to pick up some more pencils for my cute girl. We then headed home where I microwaved Kid Cuisines out of desperation and brought in and put away many, many more groceries. I then sat down with Joy to finish her homework. She then "decorated" her bed and got ready for bed and the kids played for a little bit. Since then, Micah went down. Micah woke up. Joy went down. Micah went back down. And me? I am ready for bed but still have a few things to do.
Was I crazy to think Joy starting school would make things easier? Maybe its the fact that its the first week or that I am driving 30-60 minutes each day right now for school and church days at least both ways once, if not more. Maybe its the fact that the routine isn't set or maybe its just that much more work than I realized. Whatever it is, its exhausting. My pain went up some, not enough to make me cry but enough to be noticeable and take closer together today.
But really... I am excited. I have an excuse to make extra play dates, meaning I see some of my friends more, saving gas in making less trips back and forth. Also, keeping busy tends to keep my spirits up. I am very social, not that its a surprise ;-) I could use a nap though, I mean a bedtime, hehe. Looks like I am starting to fade. Thank you all for the continued prayer. Took my adjusted dose of Coumadin tonight. Next Wednesday we will see if that has made a difference. I bought a lot of juice today. I forgot how much I loved it. My clinical pharmacist said its okay for me to drink the V8 VFusion I like so much as long as its consistent so that made me happen.
Well, I'm drifting so I am gonna head off.
That's all for now...
*Melis*
P.S. Please continue to keep the neighbor situation in your prayers. I sense something brewing and it is never pretty with them, despite anything we do or do not say. Also, with everything going on, I believe I am more susceptible to an emotional outburst, as I don't have a lot of processing time to the still recent miscarriage. Thank you!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Wow...
Wow... I knew Joy starting school would be a relief but I had NO idea how much it would affect or routines and how much transitioning would be happening simultaneously. (Must be why I keep injuring myself ~ I know, I know.)
Joy LOVES school. She is tired but she loves school. This excites me to no end. I am so happy for her. Yesterday was her first day. When I announced she was going back the next day (today) she was jubilant, super thrilled! Last night was also parent night at Joy's school so Joy got a play date but then went to bed later because of me having to go.
Two nights ago, I was tired and a bit flustered due to several misplaced important items. While attempting to make Joy's lunch for her first day, I somehow managed to knock over a "cookie jar." Of course it didn't just break, it shattered... all over the entrance area to the kitchen. I prayed as I quickly tried to exit the kitchen (barefoot of course), only to get a small piece of glass in my big toe. I approached my bed cautiously, able to get the glass out. Fortunately, David arrived home shortly after and helped me to find the remaining items, as well as clean up the glass.
Unfortunately, he missed some and I found another piece in my foot late last night and another piece yet again in my other big toe, as I left to take Joy to dance this evening. In all cases, it was removed but I was nervous as I have to watch myself carefully. Bleeding can be a huge issue for me if something goes haywire. I wish I could say that was the end of it.
After sometime of not hearing anything from them, I was confronted by the neighbor below us. Everything she did and said was harsh and I felt attacked. I felt like she was trying to make me as uncomfortable as possible. She brought her friend with her to yell at me too and demanded to see my husband when he returned home. (He will not be going by at 3am or any other time as I have already requested we try to squash things and move on and she has ignored that request.) David will be following up with our manager no later than tomorrow since her anger was regarding something he was involved in as well. I felt extremely uncomfortable. I will admit after that confrontation and from what I have heard of the manager's concerns, I am more concerned than ever. I feel more unsafe and troubled than before. This may all now explain why I always feel such a dark cloud is present when they are around.
Today, I went for a blood draw to check on things. I am back to 1.9 which is just outside of the therapeutic range. I was asked to increase my Coumadin one day a week to see if that makes the difference. Next Wednesday, I have my next blood draw to see if that does the trick. Overall, I have been feeling more like myself and I have been able to manage my pain for the most part. I still need pain meds, verified by my hematologist but I haven;t had any out of control days recently. It has definitely been nice.
Joy loves dance too. She let me know once again how she listened to her dance teacher and had a great time. She looked tired to me but was still very positive and obedient. I am impressed that she can do so well after the craziness of the week to this point! She is such a blessing from God and I adore my Joy Joy. I am glad, however that she only attends school 3 days a week. (The other two days are "homeschool" where she does a certain amount of homework I supervise and help as needed with.)
Micah is sleeping well. He still wakes up a few times a night at most but it is still significantly better than before he was weaned. He generally goes back to sleep pretty fast as well. We are in the process of tweaking his routine though since he gets up so early with me to get Joy ready. His nap is earlier and I am trying to squeeze a small one in a little later. He is a very happy little boy getting so much attention and then getting to laugh and play with his sister after school.
Tomorrow, Women's Bible Study returns at church. I am excited. My kids will get to play while I get to study the Word with other ladies from our church. Afterwards, we have a lot of grocery shopping to take care of. Joy and I will also attempt our first "homeschool" day. She still seems excited about even those days. She really does light up my life, my sweet girl...
Still a bit overwhelmed from the verbal confrontation from my neighbors but I am doing my best to pray through it and stay calm. I am in need of pain relief shortly and need to make sure the alarm and grocery list are ready for tomorrow, among other things. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Situations with these neighbors have never been pretty (and never asked for). We long to just have peace with them but they have made it pretty clear they dislike us and do not like anything we have done to try and keep from being loud. (We live upstairs and they live downstairs. Trust me, we have tried plenty of things to minimize noise and they always came back upset anyway.) We are trying our best to live quietly and not interact with them, trying to avoid any trouble. We really just need the prayer.
Thank you all as usual for your support and prayers. This year has yet to stop surprising me. I am thrilled with how God has blessed me and my family. He really has provided and taken care of. Generally speaking, I really don't feel the need for much else. God keeps stepping in and I know He will continue to.
God Bless!
That's all for now..
*Melis*
Joy LOVES school. She is tired but she loves school. This excites me to no end. I am so happy for her. Yesterday was her first day. When I announced she was going back the next day (today) she was jubilant, super thrilled! Last night was also parent night at Joy's school so Joy got a play date but then went to bed later because of me having to go.
Two nights ago, I was tired and a bit flustered due to several misplaced important items. While attempting to make Joy's lunch for her first day, I somehow managed to knock over a "cookie jar." Of course it didn't just break, it shattered... all over the entrance area to the kitchen. I prayed as I quickly tried to exit the kitchen (barefoot of course), only to get a small piece of glass in my big toe. I approached my bed cautiously, able to get the glass out. Fortunately, David arrived home shortly after and helped me to find the remaining items, as well as clean up the glass.
Unfortunately, he missed some and I found another piece in my foot late last night and another piece yet again in my other big toe, as I left to take Joy to dance this evening. In all cases, it was removed but I was nervous as I have to watch myself carefully. Bleeding can be a huge issue for me if something goes haywire. I wish I could say that was the end of it.
After sometime of not hearing anything from them, I was confronted by the neighbor below us. Everything she did and said was harsh and I felt attacked. I felt like she was trying to make me as uncomfortable as possible. She brought her friend with her to yell at me too and demanded to see my husband when he returned home. (He will not be going by at 3am or any other time as I have already requested we try to squash things and move on and she has ignored that request.) David will be following up with our manager no later than tomorrow since her anger was regarding something he was involved in as well. I felt extremely uncomfortable. I will admit after that confrontation and from what I have heard of the manager's concerns, I am more concerned than ever. I feel more unsafe and troubled than before. This may all now explain why I always feel such a dark cloud is present when they are around.
Today, I went for a blood draw to check on things. I am back to 1.9 which is just outside of the therapeutic range. I was asked to increase my Coumadin one day a week to see if that makes the difference. Next Wednesday, I have my next blood draw to see if that does the trick. Overall, I have been feeling more like myself and I have been able to manage my pain for the most part. I still need pain meds, verified by my hematologist but I haven;t had any out of control days recently. It has definitely been nice.
Joy loves dance too. She let me know once again how she listened to her dance teacher and had a great time. She looked tired to me but was still very positive and obedient. I am impressed that she can do so well after the craziness of the week to this point! She is such a blessing from God and I adore my Joy Joy. I am glad, however that she only attends school 3 days a week. (The other two days are "homeschool" where she does a certain amount of homework I supervise and help as needed with.)
Micah is sleeping well. He still wakes up a few times a night at most but it is still significantly better than before he was weaned. He generally goes back to sleep pretty fast as well. We are in the process of tweaking his routine though since he gets up so early with me to get Joy ready. His nap is earlier and I am trying to squeeze a small one in a little later. He is a very happy little boy getting so much attention and then getting to laugh and play with his sister after school.
Tomorrow, Women's Bible Study returns at church. I am excited. My kids will get to play while I get to study the Word with other ladies from our church. Afterwards, we have a lot of grocery shopping to take care of. Joy and I will also attempt our first "homeschool" day. She still seems excited about even those days. She really does light up my life, my sweet girl...
Still a bit overwhelmed from the verbal confrontation from my neighbors but I am doing my best to pray through it and stay calm. I am in need of pain relief shortly and need to make sure the alarm and grocery list are ready for tomorrow, among other things. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Situations with these neighbors have never been pretty (and never asked for). We long to just have peace with them but they have made it pretty clear they dislike us and do not like anything we have done to try and keep from being loud. (We live upstairs and they live downstairs. Trust me, we have tried plenty of things to minimize noise and they always came back upset anyway.) We are trying our best to live quietly and not interact with them, trying to avoid any trouble. We really just need the prayer.
Thank you all as usual for your support and prayers. This year has yet to stop surprising me. I am thrilled with how God has blessed me and my family. He really has provided and taken care of. Generally speaking, I really don't feel the need for much else. God keeps stepping in and I know He will continue to.
God Bless!
That's all for now..
*Melis*
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
He is with us...
So... I burnt several fingers when I was making mac 'n cheese for dinner for the kiddos. (I'll let you piece that one together.) I misplaced my phone. I found my Coumadin in the middle of the living room floor which led me to realize my pain meds were missing and my birth control was on the floor next to the bed. I went into the kitchen to make Joy's lunch for her first day of school, only to somehow knock the "cookie jar" on to the kitchen floor and get a small shard of glass temporarily stuck in one of my big toes trying to slowly escape the kitchen. Micah decided after falling asleep that when he awoke he would take his sweet time twice over being "ready" for bed again. I discovered some of Joy's curriculum still hadn't even shipped yet...
Just one of those days? Or evenings at least? Did I mention I have to get up in 6 hours to get myself ready to get Joy ready so she can have a fresh start her very first day of school. At least she seems to be getting enough sleep tonight... On the flip side... A friend volunteered to call my phone so I could attempt to find it while David was still on his way home. I found it as she was going to call it and made us both laugh, as she realized she didn't have my number anyway. David found my pain meds (phew!) and is in the process of getting me ice for the bubble on my finger the burn caused. Oh, and when my head is back on (in the morning), I can easily finish Joy's lunch. David swept up and dealt with all of the glass (fortunately) in the kitchen. He's agreed to go with me to take our girl to her first day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYLoigK4WSI
Even when we have a rough day, even if its full of the "little" things, God is with us. We can trust Him. "It might seem there's an ocean in between but He's holding on to you and me." So comforting, so encouraging...
I am so tired. I gotta get to bed. I will do my best to post about the first day when I get a chance. It's parent night too so I may not get right to it. Sleep well, my friends.
*Melis*
Just one of those days? Or evenings at least? Did I mention I have to get up in 6 hours to get myself ready to get Joy ready so she can have a fresh start her very first day of school. At least she seems to be getting enough sleep tonight... On the flip side... A friend volunteered to call my phone so I could attempt to find it while David was still on his way home. I found it as she was going to call it and made us both laugh, as she realized she didn't have my number anyway. David found my pain meds (phew!) and is in the process of getting me ice for the bubble on my finger the burn caused. Oh, and when my head is back on (in the morning), I can easily finish Joy's lunch. David swept up and dealt with all of the glass (fortunately) in the kitchen. He's agreed to go with me to take our girl to her first day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYLoigK4WSI
Even when we have a rough day, even if its full of the "little" things, God is with us. We can trust Him. "It might seem there's an ocean in between but He's holding on to you and me." So comforting, so encouraging...
I am so tired. I gotta get to bed. I will do my best to post about the first day when I get a chance. It's parent night too so I may not get right to it. Sleep well, my friends.
*Melis*
Monday, September 2, 2013
School is almost here!
You heard right. Joy starts Kindergarten... TOMORROW! I never thought I would be a mom who freaked out. I haven't exactly freaked out... But, I have started to get super excited for my big girl! She has been happily helping me do whatever she can to get ready from school. She and Micah went Back-to-School shopping with me last week. Today, she helped me pack up her backpack. She was also present when we picked out her backpack as well as her LEGO pencil box (which she happily chose a green color for). Last week, we attended "Meet the Teacher" at her new school. The school has moved to a new building which seems to have energized everyone there. Joy met some of the kids in her class, as well as in other grades and was beaming before leaving, telling us she had met her new friends! I have been looking forward to this day for a long time, a day when she could make friends we don't have to worry about at a place we trust. Her teacher is fantastic too. We go to church with her and I have loved her for some time as a person. She is fabulous. Joy was even excited to see her new school shoes (simple black, white & pink velcro ones), as well has her uniform. She is not at all unhappy about it. I think she sees them as special clothes... that works for me! So my little girl really is a big girl now. She's 5, starting Kindergarten and she's going to be in a classroom multiple days a week. I am thrilled it worked out to send her to a Classical Christian school with such wonderful teachers and staff. I am thrilled she has been able to meet several nice kids with friendly parents. I am thrilled.... Oh yeah, and super excited for her! I hope to get a photo (or 500) of her tomorrow.
That's all for now...
*Melissa*
P.S. More blogging coming later today...
That's all for now...
*Melissa*
P.S. More blogging coming later today...
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Day in Review... Time to Overcome?
Today I woke up and realized my alarm had been set but not turned ON. Seriously?! Thank goodness for the "Micah alarm" going off! I quickly woke David up and we woke up Joy fast to get the kids ready and out the door. (Please note: Joy needs a good HOUR to get up and be a happy camper. Lesson learned. No more forgetting to TURN ON the alarm. Doh.)
All while getting ready I was becoming increasingly aware my pain was more intense than normal for a morning. Moving around so fast might have actually been making it worse but I knew we had stepped out of "medium pain." Just as we were leaving, I took something for the pain. (Oh, how I look forward to the day I do not need ANY at ALL!)
We arrived at her new school and were warmly greeted right away. Joy was shy at first (as is her usual) at meeting her teacher and new classmates. We talked to her teacher (a friend from church) and chatted with several other parents and staff at the school. David went off to ask one of them a few lingering questions we still had and set up our interview for the next day. (Talk about cutting it close - our year!)
We enjoyed our time and then were told we could actually interview in about 15 minutes. When the principal was ready to meet with us, Joy's wonderful teacher agreed to continue to watch our little ones in her classroom with the other kids. We headed off to meet the principal. Let me tell you: this guy is in the right position, at the right place and made me feel even more confident about our decision to send Joy to this school. He talked a lot about the classical approach to school with the Christian worldview. I was intrigued, learning even more, while fighting off the discomfort in my body from today's pain from my PE. He assured us at the end of the interview we were a good fit and to not worry. He would expedite her application and would see us on Tuesday for the first day of school. I was thrilled. I felt so much more confident than even before this was definitely where Joy belonged.
We left shortly after. We dropped David off to get ready for his first job of the day and went to WinCo to get some groceries to get us through to "payday." The kids were wonderful and made it a fairly easy trip. Upon arriving at home, I get the kids' lunch ready and went back down to the car to grab the rest of the groceries. I grimaced and grumbled as the neighbors below us yelled loud, inappropriate things (from inside their apartment) that our whole side of the complex likely heard. I was frustrated, remembering issues they had caused for us a lot of the year but tried to remain calm as I headed back into the apartment to check on the kids and start to enjoy just being home for the day.
It was then that I realized I had left my phone in the "car cart" at WinCo but I headed back to the car to double check. Sigh. I sent my hubby a text message from my e-mail to alert him while I looked for the phone to the number we rarely used. Simultaneously, I was trying to get my lunch ready with te kids themselves chatting and finishing up lunch. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, repeatedly checking my e-mail, hoping David could call for me and/or tell me where my other phone was. Micah had slept in the care for a short time so he refused to nap, even after a "noble" attempt on my part. Thankfully, the kids played really well together while I finished up lunch and surrendered the phone search (mostly).
It was during this time that I realized my pain had truly returned and I was feeling like someone had knocked the wind out of me... yet again. There's another sigh. I tried my best to relax as long as I could before Micah warranted my attention and I discovered mess after mess Joy had made yet again in our little apartment. I was clearly frustrated at her horrible timing and at the fact that my daughter who had been doing so well was clearly acting out more than I wanted. Even though I sensed a little bit of why she was I was still frustrated as I tried to do as quick a fix to each of the situations before sitting down on the floor to play with my Micah for a bit. This seemed to work with him better than yesterday and I admit I was relieved he was acting more like himself than previous days this past week. I said a little "thank you" to my Jesus before praying for survival through the discomforts for the rest of the day.
Shortly after this, I was able to check my e-mail and discover quite the relief to myself. David had gotten my messages and had been called my the man who found my phone. He had taken my phone to customer service at WinCo and David had said he would grab it for me on his way home between jobs so I would not have to get out again feeling as I was. This was definitely good news (even though I despise my phone) as I need it more than I want to admit. My anxiety was still creeping back up as my kids' energy amped up near me. When David arrived home he decided to "Boo!" Micah Boo and ended up making me jump in the air. I cried. I fully cried and tried to run out of the room. Poor David. I was done. David did his best to give Micah the attention that he wanted as he got ready pretty hastily for his second job.
I hugged my hubby as he headed out the door again for a very long shift remembering he only had so many left at Wendy's and things would get better at home soon. I was happy that no more "super late nights turned early mornings" would be in our future after the next 1.5 weeks or so. I was still sad though as I dreaded these back-to-backs for us all. Missing daddy is hard on everyone, even daddy. After he left, I tried to focus on getting Joy her requested bath and both of the kids their dinner. This only worked so-so but at this point that is all I needed. I kept looking at the time, anticipating Micah's bedtime. He was doing pretty well but I was so worn and concerned about pain creeping back in that I knew him being in bed would benefit myself, his sister and him.
I finally decided to try and eat dinner and found myself feeding Micah parts of my own dinner to keep him happy. (Sound familiar?) My kids eat more than most adults I know ;) It sure seems that way some days at least. Shortly after, I put Micah down and was happily surprised he had cried himself to sleep again. We were definitely making much more progress lately in that arena and it wasn't taking nearly as long anymore. I tried to focus and chat with Joy, as I reminded her that she in fact would not be getting dessert due to disobeying and creating unnecessary messes today. She was frustrated and repeatedly tried to ask me but I finally convinced her to settle for a small snack so I could get my shower in and try and get more done so we could leave tomorrow shortly after my appointment.
Fortunately for me, tonight Joy hardly fought it. After my shower, Micah needed some cuddling. After he was back asleep, she gave in and decided not to fight me on sleep anymore and fell right to sleep. Here I was finally with time to myself. I was out of my normal coffee so I used a different one in my drink. BAD idea! It was so not the same. I wimpered.... again.... over coffee. More sigh... I gave in to the pain medication before it took me over instead and remembered I was planning on writing tonight, being real...
So now I am sitting here contemplating my day, whining to myself... both thankful and irritable about pain medication, glad to have found some Facebook support groups for infant/pregnancy loss but still pensive as they are new to me, excited and nervous for Joy to start school in ONLY 5 sleeps... still wiping my eyes as I have been ALL day (still not sure why) and thankful for so many precious friends. I am a bit of a wreck emotionally and physically today but am trodding on as usual. I love my Lord Jesus and know He is fully in control, especially of the finances, my health and our family's future (my biggest concerns as of late)!
Posting this one again... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z29olPjFbqg
That's all for now...
*Melis*
P.S. Hematology appointment tomorrow (finally)!!
All while getting ready I was becoming increasingly aware my pain was more intense than normal for a morning. Moving around so fast might have actually been making it worse but I knew we had stepped out of "medium pain." Just as we were leaving, I took something for the pain. (Oh, how I look forward to the day I do not need ANY at ALL!)
We arrived at her new school and were warmly greeted right away. Joy was shy at first (as is her usual) at meeting her teacher and new classmates. We talked to her teacher (a friend from church) and chatted with several other parents and staff at the school. David went off to ask one of them a few lingering questions we still had and set up our interview for the next day. (Talk about cutting it close - our year!)
We enjoyed our time and then were told we could actually interview in about 15 minutes. When the principal was ready to meet with us, Joy's wonderful teacher agreed to continue to watch our little ones in her classroom with the other kids. We headed off to meet the principal. Let me tell you: this guy is in the right position, at the right place and made me feel even more confident about our decision to send Joy to this school. He talked a lot about the classical approach to school with the Christian worldview. I was intrigued, learning even more, while fighting off the discomfort in my body from today's pain from my PE. He assured us at the end of the interview we were a good fit and to not worry. He would expedite her application and would see us on Tuesday for the first day of school. I was thrilled. I felt so much more confident than even before this was definitely where Joy belonged.
We left shortly after. We dropped David off to get ready for his first job of the day and went to WinCo to get some groceries to get us through to "payday." The kids were wonderful and made it a fairly easy trip. Upon arriving at home, I get the kids' lunch ready and went back down to the car to grab the rest of the groceries. I grimaced and grumbled as the neighbors below us yelled loud, inappropriate things (from inside their apartment) that our whole side of the complex likely heard. I was frustrated, remembering issues they had caused for us a lot of the year but tried to remain calm as I headed back into the apartment to check on the kids and start to enjoy just being home for the day.
It was then that I realized I had left my phone in the "car cart" at WinCo but I headed back to the car to double check. Sigh. I sent my hubby a text message from my e-mail to alert him while I looked for the phone to the number we rarely used. Simultaneously, I was trying to get my lunch ready with te kids themselves chatting and finishing up lunch. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, repeatedly checking my e-mail, hoping David could call for me and/or tell me where my other phone was. Micah had slept in the care for a short time so he refused to nap, even after a "noble" attempt on my part. Thankfully, the kids played really well together while I finished up lunch and surrendered the phone search (mostly).
It was during this time that I realized my pain had truly returned and I was feeling like someone had knocked the wind out of me... yet again. There's another sigh. I tried my best to relax as long as I could before Micah warranted my attention and I discovered mess after mess Joy had made yet again in our little apartment. I was clearly frustrated at her horrible timing and at the fact that my daughter who had been doing so well was clearly acting out more than I wanted. Even though I sensed a little bit of why she was I was still frustrated as I tried to do as quick a fix to each of the situations before sitting down on the floor to play with my Micah for a bit. This seemed to work with him better than yesterday and I admit I was relieved he was acting more like himself than previous days this past week. I said a little "thank you" to my Jesus before praying for survival through the discomforts for the rest of the day.
Shortly after this, I was able to check my e-mail and discover quite the relief to myself. David had gotten my messages and had been called my the man who found my phone. He had taken my phone to customer service at WinCo and David had said he would grab it for me on his way home between jobs so I would not have to get out again feeling as I was. This was definitely good news (even though I despise my phone) as I need it more than I want to admit. My anxiety was still creeping back up as my kids' energy amped up near me. When David arrived home he decided to "Boo!" Micah Boo and ended up making me jump in the air. I cried. I fully cried and tried to run out of the room. Poor David. I was done. David did his best to give Micah the attention that he wanted as he got ready pretty hastily for his second job.
I hugged my hubby as he headed out the door again for a very long shift remembering he only had so many left at Wendy's and things would get better at home soon. I was happy that no more "super late nights turned early mornings" would be in our future after the next 1.5 weeks or so. I was still sad though as I dreaded these back-to-backs for us all. Missing daddy is hard on everyone, even daddy. After he left, I tried to focus on getting Joy her requested bath and both of the kids their dinner. This only worked so-so but at this point that is all I needed. I kept looking at the time, anticipating Micah's bedtime. He was doing pretty well but I was so worn and concerned about pain creeping back in that I knew him being in bed would benefit myself, his sister and him.
I finally decided to try and eat dinner and found myself feeding Micah parts of my own dinner to keep him happy. (Sound familiar?) My kids eat more than most adults I know ;) It sure seems that way some days at least. Shortly after, I put Micah down and was happily surprised he had cried himself to sleep again. We were definitely making much more progress lately in that arena and it wasn't taking nearly as long anymore. I tried to focus and chat with Joy, as I reminded her that she in fact would not be getting dessert due to disobeying and creating unnecessary messes today. She was frustrated and repeatedly tried to ask me but I finally convinced her to settle for a small snack so I could get my shower in and try and get more done so we could leave tomorrow shortly after my appointment.
Fortunately for me, tonight Joy hardly fought it. After my shower, Micah needed some cuddling. After he was back asleep, she gave in and decided not to fight me on sleep anymore and fell right to sleep. Here I was finally with time to myself. I was out of my normal coffee so I used a different one in my drink. BAD idea! It was so not the same. I wimpered.... again.... over coffee. More sigh... I gave in to the pain medication before it took me over instead and remembered I was planning on writing tonight, being real...
So now I am sitting here contemplating my day, whining to myself... both thankful and irritable about pain medication, glad to have found some Facebook support groups for infant/pregnancy loss but still pensive as they are new to me, excited and nervous for Joy to start school in ONLY 5 sleeps... still wiping my eyes as I have been ALL day (still not sure why) and thankful for so many precious friends. I am a bit of a wreck emotionally and physically today but am trodding on as usual. I love my Lord Jesus and know He is fully in control, especially of the finances, my health and our family's future (my biggest concerns as of late)!
Posting this one again... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z29olPjFbqg
That's all for now...
*Melis*
P.S. Hematology appointment tomorrow (finally)!!
Transitions, A Quick Update
Today, we went to "Meet the Teacher" at Joy's new school & (finally) officially got her registered. We are so excited for her. This school seems like just the right fit and are so relieved to see this all working out. Joy starts school in 5 sleeps! Its crazy! When did my little girl get old enough for school? Joy was such a happy girl, raving about her new friends and how excited she was. Tomorrow, I take the kids to visit family for a few days. Tomorrow, I finally see my hematologist for the first time since being hospitalized a little over a month ago. In less than 2 weeks, David will be done at Wendy's and working towards a "better life" for us. So many transitions and things going on at once! We are thrilled and nervous at the same time. We are so thankful for all of the prayers to this point and ongoing. I will still be on my blood thinner at least 5 more months and we still have a ways to go until David's schedule becomes a bit more consistent. I have had a handful of medium pain days. Today is a little higher than that but not horrible, just getting there. Looking forward to being near the beach for a few days, taking in that wonderful sea air. Glad to finally have a fully healthy family.
That's all for now...
*Melis*
That's all for now...
*Melis*
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