Yesterday, I had someone ask me that. I was kind of surprised, seeing as I strive to be as transparent as possible. Do you think I am open, honest... do you think I hide a lot? Lie? Here's my take...
When I decided to get this blog going finally, it was inspired and for the purpose of letting others know about our miscarriage, my heart and where it stood throughout it and following and to eventually spill we were pregnant again with our Rainbow Baby.
Guess what? God had other plans. We again miscarried (as you all know) and I had a D&C on July 23 of this year, just after 15 weeks. Both losses were in the 2nd trimester so my doctor wanted to order genetic testing at my follow up. That didn't happen. Instead, I was admitted 5 days later, on our 6th wedding anniversary for a pulmonary embolism, a really large blood clot in my lungs. David and I were both shocked and it sent ripples through some of the family, as well as friends as prayers were offered up all over and we received more offers for help than we physically needed.
I didn't see it coming but as I promised early on, I strive to be open and now was not the time to clam up. So what is my take on all of this? I am me. Huh? Well, I have always considered myself pretty open (as well as extremely talkative- lol). For me, it has always been important to do a few things...
1. Share what is on my heart
2. Use tact.
3. Keep others informed (I try) so they are less likely to get lost in all of the craziness.
4. Give God the glory.
The last one is key. I think when talking to this person I wanted to narrow in on it. Yes, life is hard. Would I prefer to be completely healthy? Most days. yes. But, God has a plan in this. I am completely confident in that. I have NO IDEA what plans He has but I know they exist and slandering people and screaming just isn't me as far as I am concerned. So reality check... last night as I finally drifted off to sleep, I said something like the following to my husband, " I am so angry. I am so angry. Why me? Why us?"
Does this help? It happens but I, like most of you have private moments and moments I need to work through before sharing. I hope you still see me as real and open. If you ever have a question, message me on FB, text me, call me or e-mail me. Chances are I will answer it. It may not show up on this blog now or ever for that matter but you will probably get the best answer I can give you. Just last night, I reviewed my medical file online to double check some things and realized what I had misunderstood in the hospital when on all of those medicines. I will be sharing that soon. And it is scary, concerning and makes life real but it helps as well, as it dons light on to what is wrong and how to manage life moving forward.
I appreciate all of you who are taking the time to read any of my blogs. Ultimately, this really all for the glory of God. Later gators!
*Melis*
Friday, August 9, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Still going...
So, yesterday I went in for my blood draw. My INR is up to 3.0. Here's the thing: It is still therapeutic (good) but its on the high end and it went up an entire point in 2 days (whereas it took a week or more before). I was taken off of the injections (yay). I was asked to skip my dose of warfarin last night and am taking the normal on today. Tomorrow, I was asked to do another blood draw to make sure my INR doesn't jump up any higher. (2.0-3.0 is the only range mine should be in.)
The reason I have struggled to blog the past few days is because emotionally things have been much harder lately. I followed some advice to stay on my pain meds pretty consistently so I wouldn't "crash" or have trouble fixing the pain. It is hard for me to accept this. As I have started to manage my pain though, I am seeing life a little differently and am more aware of my surroundings, hence been smacked in the face not only with all of the things we need to do outside of my condition but with the fact that I did actually miscarry twice this year, have a D&C and then a pulmonary embolism and infarction (dead tissue, still learning here). I am making strides forward but I am very up and down in this stage with emotions and physical improvements some days. It is very much a roller coaster. I also have had a pretty elevated heart rate which ups my anxiety I believe. I am praying that we can figure out the best way to manage this and see if there is anything else influencing it.
Well, Micah is up from his nap. I gotta run. Hope this helps you all for now.
God Bless,
Melis
The reason I have struggled to blog the past few days is because emotionally things have been much harder lately. I followed some advice to stay on my pain meds pretty consistently so I wouldn't "crash" or have trouble fixing the pain. It is hard for me to accept this. As I have started to manage my pain though, I am seeing life a little differently and am more aware of my surroundings, hence been smacked in the face not only with all of the things we need to do outside of my condition but with the fact that I did actually miscarry twice this year, have a D&C and then a pulmonary embolism and infarction (dead tissue, still learning here). I am making strides forward but I am very up and down in this stage with emotions and physical improvements some days. It is very much a roller coaster. I also have had a pretty elevated heart rate which ups my anxiety I believe. I am praying that we can figure out the best way to manage this and see if there is anything else influencing it.
Well, Micah is up from his nap. I gotta run. Hope this helps you all for now.
God Bless,
Melis
Monday, August 5, 2013
Clarity & Follow up
I briefly messaged back and forth with some people and realized my last blog post left out a few key things.
Yes, I did get released from the ER this morning.
Yes, my INR is in the therapeutic range (this is good) and if my Wednesday blood draw shows this as well, I get to come off of the shots/injections :-) It was at 1.4 when I left the hospital Thursday, at 1.3 Friday at home and then at 2.0 today. (2.0-3.0 is where I need to be during this time in my life.)
They ran an extra CT scan because of my pain levels getting worse, despite the improvement in INR. It shows my large clot already getting smaller. (Yes!) This is extra piece of mind for myself.
The down side... Unlike what my doctor at the hospital originally said, pain is NORMAL! In fact, it makes a lot of sense. The clot creates a blockage. It is an injury, and a pretty significant one at that. Initially, pain is part of the healing process and unfortunately for me, the pain meds I am allowed to be on will not always feel like they are working due to the severity of the pain.
Today was easily one of the worst days on record. When I returned home, I had not slept a wink all night. David put Micah back to bed, Joy cuddled up in front of kids shows on Netflix next to me and I slept for about 1-1.5 hours. From there on out, I was in and out and had very little energy. I felt beyond zapped. (I don't even know how to explain the kind of exhaustion I have been feeling.) It was even worse than most days in the hospital. I was on pain meds almost the entire day (which I do not like to be). Micah and Joy were amazing and surprisingly patient with me. And fortunately, David had a rare night off. He had a moment walking in to our room finding all 3 of us asleep on our bed.
I hope this helps clarify any confusion. I look forward to feeling like "myself" again when I get there. Thank you all again for all of the help and prayers. We still have a pretty extensive road ahead of us that isn't completely clear. I meet with my OB tomorrow to discuss post D&C and how to proceed with the blood clot involved now. I am still trying to understand all of the emotions I have been having and trying to process them. And even though it is not his fault, I admit I am sometimes very irritated and frustrated at my OB.
Its August 5th! I can't even believe what a year it has already been. Micah is now 18 months and we are holding our kids a little closer these days!
Love you all,
Melis
Yes, I did get released from the ER this morning.
Yes, my INR is in the therapeutic range (this is good) and if my Wednesday blood draw shows this as well, I get to come off of the shots/injections :-) It was at 1.4 when I left the hospital Thursday, at 1.3 Friday at home and then at 2.0 today. (2.0-3.0 is where I need to be during this time in my life.)
They ran an extra CT scan because of my pain levels getting worse, despite the improvement in INR. It shows my large clot already getting smaller. (Yes!) This is extra piece of mind for myself.
The down side... Unlike what my doctor at the hospital originally said, pain is NORMAL! In fact, it makes a lot of sense. The clot creates a blockage. It is an injury, and a pretty significant one at that. Initially, pain is part of the healing process and unfortunately for me, the pain meds I am allowed to be on will not always feel like they are working due to the severity of the pain.
Today was easily one of the worst days on record. When I returned home, I had not slept a wink all night. David put Micah back to bed, Joy cuddled up in front of kids shows on Netflix next to me and I slept for about 1-1.5 hours. From there on out, I was in and out and had very little energy. I felt beyond zapped. (I don't even know how to explain the kind of exhaustion I have been feeling.) It was even worse than most days in the hospital. I was on pain meds almost the entire day (which I do not like to be). Micah and Joy were amazing and surprisingly patient with me. And fortunately, David had a rare night off. He had a moment walking in to our room finding all 3 of us asleep on our bed.
I hope this helps clarify any confusion. I look forward to feeling like "myself" again when I get there. Thank you all again for all of the help and prayers. We still have a pretty extensive road ahead of us that isn't completely clear. I meet with my OB tomorrow to discuss post D&C and how to proceed with the blood clot involved now. I am still trying to understand all of the emotions I have been having and trying to process them. And even though it is not his fault, I admit I am sometimes very irritated and frustrated at my OB.
Its August 5th! I can't even believe what a year it has already been. Micah is now 18 months and we are holding our kids a little closer these days!
Love you all,
Melis
Hello ER... again :(
I don't know anyone that says that after returning home from a hospital stay, they hope to go back soon. Unfortunately, that is what happened to me, for a little while at least...
Last night around 8pm, I picked up a crying Micah in hopes of calming him down so I could put him back down again. That didn't happen. Pain started creeping in and I did my best to ignore it, hoping Micah would go back down and that eating something and resting would help me feel better. That didn't happen, so finally, after tears over pain and frustration at my children for somehow being wide away, I took the pain medicine around 9:20. Un fortunately, the pain continued to get worse. I gave Joy her hug and kiss and sent her off to bed (took her awhile to settle but she ultimatley did it). I got to the point where I realized I could no longer pick Micah up and decided he could sleep in my bed once he passed out. He eventually did but the pain didn't subside. David was at work so we finally agreed that I would take the next dose of pain medicine on time and then go the ER as soon as he arrived home. (We were originally told I should have little to no pain once home or it should at least be managed by the strong pain meds I had been prescribed.)
At 1:20 a.m, I took the next dose with no improvement. It just got worse and worse. As soon as I knew David be getting home fairly soon, I packed a backup hospital bag and noticed slight improvement in pain. (What gives?) David arrived home shortly after 3 a.m. and got the kids stuff ready, as well as his and loaded them into the car for me. Fortunatley, NO ONE was at the ER this time of day, so I was see shortly. I was given more pain meds, asked a lot of questions and told to relax (haha). They gave me my injection since it was that time and did my blood draw. I had an x-ray as well. THe blood draw actually revealed an INR of 2.0. This was great news on its own as in my case, mine needs to regularly sit somewhere between 2.0 and 3.0. However, the ER doctor was even more confused. I had come up from an INR of 1.3 just Friday and my pain was much worse, as well as daily life in general. He ordered another CT scan. WHen I went to have the scan done, David, Micah and Joy all fell asleep on the floor of my room. When I arrived back, I was no longer on pain medication of any kind and the nurses were doing their shift change. I waited for a good 40 or so minutes, still unable to really sleep for the results. Once again, they were good. The clot is actually shrinking!
So why have I been in so much pain? The ER doctor simply explain it as an injury, a pretty substantial injury. I have a LARGE clot in my LUNGS. While it is getting smaller and unblocking, it HURTS, sometimes really badly. So, I am doing better but the pain may be a bigger issue in the beginning more than I like. Please continue prayer for this. In other good news, the GP doctor situation has been sorted out and is set for me the next time I need to see her. If my blood work on Wednesday shows another INR of 2.0-3.0 I will be able to go off the injections and just be on the pills. Praise the Lord!
I had several 3/4-asleep conversations with friends via text over my confusion over God's Will in all of this and my frustration with the pouring rain it seems. I continue to trust Him but am needing to draw near to Him more closely than ever. I trust He already has everything figured out. Thank Goodness! Oh, and we are feeling so blessed after a meal from friends at church who also set up several more with other friends from church. What a relief! How blessed are we, seriously?
Well, that's all for now!
*Melis*
Last night around 8pm, I picked up a crying Micah in hopes of calming him down so I could put him back down again. That didn't happen. Pain started creeping in and I did my best to ignore it, hoping Micah would go back down and that eating something and resting would help me feel better. That didn't happen, so finally, after tears over pain and frustration at my children for somehow being wide away, I took the pain medicine around 9:20. Un fortunately, the pain continued to get worse. I gave Joy her hug and kiss and sent her off to bed (took her awhile to settle but she ultimatley did it). I got to the point where I realized I could no longer pick Micah up and decided he could sleep in my bed once he passed out. He eventually did but the pain didn't subside. David was at work so we finally agreed that I would take the next dose of pain medicine on time and then go the ER as soon as he arrived home. (We were originally told I should have little to no pain once home or it should at least be managed by the strong pain meds I had been prescribed.)
At 1:20 a.m, I took the next dose with no improvement. It just got worse and worse. As soon as I knew David be getting home fairly soon, I packed a backup hospital bag and noticed slight improvement in pain. (What gives?) David arrived home shortly after 3 a.m. and got the kids stuff ready, as well as his and loaded them into the car for me. Fortunatley, NO ONE was at the ER this time of day, so I was see shortly. I was given more pain meds, asked a lot of questions and told to relax (haha). They gave me my injection since it was that time and did my blood draw. I had an x-ray as well. THe blood draw actually revealed an INR of 2.0. This was great news on its own as in my case, mine needs to regularly sit somewhere between 2.0 and 3.0. However, the ER doctor was even more confused. I had come up from an INR of 1.3 just Friday and my pain was much worse, as well as daily life in general. He ordered another CT scan. WHen I went to have the scan done, David, Micah and Joy all fell asleep on the floor of my room. When I arrived back, I was no longer on pain medication of any kind and the nurses were doing their shift change. I waited for a good 40 or so minutes, still unable to really sleep for the results. Once again, they were good. The clot is actually shrinking!
So why have I been in so much pain? The ER doctor simply explain it as an injury, a pretty substantial injury. I have a LARGE clot in my LUNGS. While it is getting smaller and unblocking, it HURTS, sometimes really badly. So, I am doing better but the pain may be a bigger issue in the beginning more than I like. Please continue prayer for this. In other good news, the GP doctor situation has been sorted out and is set for me the next time I need to see her. If my blood work on Wednesday shows another INR of 2.0-3.0 I will be able to go off the injections and just be on the pills. Praise the Lord!
I had several 3/4-asleep conversations with friends via text over my confusion over God's Will in all of this and my frustration with the pouring rain it seems. I continue to trust Him but am needing to draw near to Him more closely than ever. I trust He already has everything figured out. Thank Goodness! Oh, and we are feeling so blessed after a meal from friends at church who also set up several more with other friends from church. What a relief! How blessed are we, seriously?
Well, that's all for now!
*Melis*
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Outta the hospital - first few days
Hi friends,
Its been an interesting few days to say the least. Thursday night initially I relaxed but ultimately didn't fall asleep until after 1am, only to wake up at 5am to give myself my first set of injections at home. I also had my first realization of the combo of being diagnosed with PE (pulmonary embolism) as well as the D&C for miscarraige just beforehand. I slept a little bit more but ultimately was too distracted to stay asleep.
At 10am, I went to my appt with the PA who had an opening right away. We were still trying to understand why certain appointments needed to be made, especially this one but he seemed more confused about why I was there. He asked me repeatedly what a D&C was and why I had to have it and then proceeded to tell me things we already knew (like how my pain meds I was taking as needed were "strong"). He told me they had to refer me to the clinic for the blood thinners (I'll sound it out as I am still learning its spelling - coo-ma-din, a.k.a. warfarin).
We then headed over to the hospital to get my blood drawn as instructed, only to hit several more hurtles with admitting and insurance. I remembered we had the pharmacist's number (she reports on my lab draws and keeps me on track) and David called her. She immediately came down and sorted everything out for us. I shared my concerns about the prior visit with the PA and she immediately recognized the issues and told me she would call over and take care of it. She told me for my next blood draw, the issues would be sorted out for me there as well. While this was all going on, the PA's nurse had called again and been chatting with David confusing us further.
Once my blood draw was taken care of, we headed over to take care of lunch and errands before heading visit a friend and spend some time allowing me to catch up with her. Her kids were super cute with David. We were both laughing. After the visit, David and I made a point to walk around and "window shop," mainly to just spend time together. It went okay but I had several mini emotional meltdowns as I tried to understand this "new life" I was being prescribed so to speak. During this time, the pharmacist called and told me my INR number (clotting) had dropped 0.1. She didn't sound thrilled as they expect it to keep going up at this stage I believe. She gave me instructions to adjust the oral blood thinner and told me to do my next blood draw Monday and we would go from there.
I had a mini meltdown again while giving myself my evening "shot" and oral blood thinner but realized it also helped me feel a lot better. The day progressed with good time with my hubby, another meltdown when I saw a newborn and her parents and ultimately coming home, ready to blog but too tired to keep my eyes open. Unfortunately, that didn't last. I ended up taking back-to-back doses of my pain meds due to muscles spasms (we think) during the night. During the second dose, I kept waking up writhing in pain. I was so frustrated and felt horrible waking up my David repeatedly.
The next day, David and I spent a little time together in town in the a.m. before returning home to receive our sweet Micah & Joy Joy. We had been warned Micah was sick and upon seeing him, David promptly took him to get him checked out. The ER was quick (no lie)! However, several pharmacies and confusions later (several hours as well), David had MOST of Micah's prescriptions and brought him home to administer them and feed the two of them. I felt I was doing a little better but had a long meltdown when it occurred to me I had a little boy with an ear infection and pink eye (swollen just before David needed to be at work). After several calls on David's part and me finally finding the confidence while calming down my Micah, I sent David off to work an hour late. (I felt so horrible about this.)
Micah did surprisingly well and ultimately did fall asleep and sleep most of the night. Joy was fantastic and such a great big girl! I slept pretty well until I woke up for my "shot" and then needed pain meds. Fortunately, no more incidences of freaking out & crying occurred last night and Micah got to sleep from 6-9am in our bed this morning.
I decided to take Joy out for our monthly "date" this morning as I saw improvement in myself and thought the boys would like a quite morning to themselves. Joy gladly joined me and we had some fun girl time. She was a fantastic buddy and was full of giggles and smiles. We stayed out long enough for me to have one of my "warm patches." (still working on a better name -- Essentially, I get really warm, sweaty etc. and my breathing gets slightly heavier and I need to get out of the situation ASAP.) We cut our trip out a little short and were thrilled to see our boys awake and happy at home.
The afternoon progressed at a glacial pace, as far as I am concerned. I would put a few pieces of clothing away and then lay down and rest for a bit and then do i over again for quite awhile. As David was getting ready to leave around 4:30, we chatted about concerns, progress etc. and made the decision for him to go to work as ultimately I felt okay enough to take care of the kids again and we would reevaluate tomorrow after the blood draw and hopefully talking to the pharmacist.
So, here's where we are with prayer...
1. My INR needs to go up, up, up! (2.0-3.0 is where it needs to land and stay ultimately but since it had dropped to 1.3 Friday, right now, we just need it to go up enough for me to feel okay and the pharmacist continue to feel comfortable enough to have me home.)
2. Micah is doing better. Pray for him to continue to heal.
3. For the kiddos to be "easy" on me so I can continue to build my strength and energy without putting myself in harm's way ultimately.
4. Questing to be answered -- we hope to have the pharmacist answer questions of concern David and I have observed lately tomorrow while we are at the hospital for the blood draw.
5. David -- my sweet husband has been so wonderful and helpful but he really needs wrapped in prayer as he is usually so busy at work or caring for someone right now, he is having trouble processing the recent events.
Thank you all for the continued prayer and support. I will continue to do my best to give updates, as well as a peek into where I am with it all. It is all a bit confusing and frustrating right now, even angering me at times but we continue to press forward and pray God's Will be done regardless of what we want or think we need.
That's all for now...
*Melis*
Its been an interesting few days to say the least. Thursday night initially I relaxed but ultimately didn't fall asleep until after 1am, only to wake up at 5am to give myself my first set of injections at home. I also had my first realization of the combo of being diagnosed with PE (pulmonary embolism) as well as the D&C for miscarraige just beforehand. I slept a little bit more but ultimately was too distracted to stay asleep.
At 10am, I went to my appt with the PA who had an opening right away. We were still trying to understand why certain appointments needed to be made, especially this one but he seemed more confused about why I was there. He asked me repeatedly what a D&C was and why I had to have it and then proceeded to tell me things we already knew (like how my pain meds I was taking as needed were "strong"). He told me they had to refer me to the clinic for the blood thinners (I'll sound it out as I am still learning its spelling - coo-ma-din, a.k.a. warfarin).
We then headed over to the hospital to get my blood drawn as instructed, only to hit several more hurtles with admitting and insurance. I remembered we had the pharmacist's number (she reports on my lab draws and keeps me on track) and David called her. She immediately came down and sorted everything out for us. I shared my concerns about the prior visit with the PA and she immediately recognized the issues and told me she would call over and take care of it. She told me for my next blood draw, the issues would be sorted out for me there as well. While this was all going on, the PA's nurse had called again and been chatting with David confusing us further.
Once my blood draw was taken care of, we headed over to take care of lunch and errands before heading visit a friend and spend some time allowing me to catch up with her. Her kids were super cute with David. We were both laughing. After the visit, David and I made a point to walk around and "window shop," mainly to just spend time together. It went okay but I had several mini emotional meltdowns as I tried to understand this "new life" I was being prescribed so to speak. During this time, the pharmacist called and told me my INR number (clotting) had dropped 0.1. She didn't sound thrilled as they expect it to keep going up at this stage I believe. She gave me instructions to adjust the oral blood thinner and told me to do my next blood draw Monday and we would go from there.
I had a mini meltdown again while giving myself my evening "shot" and oral blood thinner but realized it also helped me feel a lot better. The day progressed with good time with my hubby, another meltdown when I saw a newborn and her parents and ultimately coming home, ready to blog but too tired to keep my eyes open. Unfortunately, that didn't last. I ended up taking back-to-back doses of my pain meds due to muscles spasms (we think) during the night. During the second dose, I kept waking up writhing in pain. I was so frustrated and felt horrible waking up my David repeatedly.
The next day, David and I spent a little time together in town in the a.m. before returning home to receive our sweet Micah & Joy Joy. We had been warned Micah was sick and upon seeing him, David promptly took him to get him checked out. The ER was quick (no lie)! However, several pharmacies and confusions later (several hours as well), David had MOST of Micah's prescriptions and brought him home to administer them and feed the two of them. I felt I was doing a little better but had a long meltdown when it occurred to me I had a little boy with an ear infection and pink eye (swollen just before David needed to be at work). After several calls on David's part and me finally finding the confidence while calming down my Micah, I sent David off to work an hour late. (I felt so horrible about this.)
Micah did surprisingly well and ultimately did fall asleep and sleep most of the night. Joy was fantastic and such a great big girl! I slept pretty well until I woke up for my "shot" and then needed pain meds. Fortunately, no more incidences of freaking out & crying occurred last night and Micah got to sleep from 6-9am in our bed this morning.
I decided to take Joy out for our monthly "date" this morning as I saw improvement in myself and thought the boys would like a quite morning to themselves. Joy gladly joined me and we had some fun girl time. She was a fantastic buddy and was full of giggles and smiles. We stayed out long enough for me to have one of my "warm patches." (still working on a better name -- Essentially, I get really warm, sweaty etc. and my breathing gets slightly heavier and I need to get out of the situation ASAP.) We cut our trip out a little short and were thrilled to see our boys awake and happy at home.
The afternoon progressed at a glacial pace, as far as I am concerned. I would put a few pieces of clothing away and then lay down and rest for a bit and then do i over again for quite awhile. As David was getting ready to leave around 4:30, we chatted about concerns, progress etc. and made the decision for him to go to work as ultimately I felt okay enough to take care of the kids again and we would reevaluate tomorrow after the blood draw and hopefully talking to the pharmacist.
So, here's where we are with prayer...
1. My INR needs to go up, up, up! (2.0-3.0 is where it needs to land and stay ultimately but since it had dropped to 1.3 Friday, right now, we just need it to go up enough for me to feel okay and the pharmacist continue to feel comfortable enough to have me home.)
2. Micah is doing better. Pray for him to continue to heal.
3. For the kiddos to be "easy" on me so I can continue to build my strength and energy without putting myself in harm's way ultimately.
4. Questing to be answered -- we hope to have the pharmacist answer questions of concern David and I have observed lately tomorrow while we are at the hospital for the blood draw.
5. David -- my sweet husband has been so wonderful and helpful but he really needs wrapped in prayer as he is usually so busy at work or caring for someone right now, he is having trouble processing the recent events.
Thank you all for the continued prayer and support. I will continue to do my best to give updates, as well as a peek into where I am with it all. It is all a bit confusing and frustrating right now, even angering me at times but we continue to press forward and pray God's Will be done regardless of what we want or think we need.
That's all for now...
*Melis*
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Spectacularly YOU...
Expecting another update?
One IS coming soon
BUT...
I wanted to share what was especially on my heart tonight.
Or should I say WHO?
I love my David.
He is one of strongest people I know.
He and I have been friends for 16 years now.
Together for almost 8 years.
Married for just over 6 years.
Not too long ago, we found out we lost our 2nd baby this year.
Less than a week later, we found our family waiting together for over 3 hours in the ER. 2 hours later, after plenty of tests, we were told I had a pulmonary embolism, in my case a LARGE clot in my lungs. 4 days later, I was released with extra special instructions.
Oh, and by the way, did I mention the days I was admitted was our 6th wedding anniversary?
David has been through the ringer. So many ask about me... Yes, it is a process. Yes, my life is different now, for at least the next 6 months.
BUT...
So is his! David lost 2 babies this year too! David had to watch me go through both losses, start two deal with both losses, sharing when I had trouble sharing. David had to wait as I went through loads of tests, only days after our second loss. He then had to take 2 very confused, tired, emotional children home without me, skip more work and then eventually pick me up and keep a close eye on me on only my first day out of the hospital. (And trust me, yesterday was no cake walk! More on that later...)
I adore my Davey.
He is my best friend.
He is the most fantastic father to Joy & Micah.
He pours his heart and everything he can into his family
and his work...
I am so completely blessed to be married to my best friend, the man who knows me better than anyone else, who has genuinely strived to make our marriage stronger. He understands give and take better than most anyone and longs to see me happy and our whole family well. He is incredibly unique and I couldn't imagine being married to anyone else... anyone more spectacularly perfect for me... and for our kids.
So this blog is dedicated to you, David. I am so thrilled God brought us together after all of those years. I hope I never have to live a day without you...
*Melis*
One IS coming soon
BUT...
I wanted to share what was especially on my heart tonight.
Or should I say WHO?
I love my David.
He is one of strongest people I know.
He and I have been friends for 16 years now.
Together for almost 8 years.
Married for just over 6 years.
Not too long ago, we found out we lost our 2nd baby this year.
Less than a week later, we found our family waiting together for over 3 hours in the ER. 2 hours later, after plenty of tests, we were told I had a pulmonary embolism, in my case a LARGE clot in my lungs. 4 days later, I was released with extra special instructions.
Oh, and by the way, did I mention the days I was admitted was our 6th wedding anniversary?
David has been through the ringer. So many ask about me... Yes, it is a process. Yes, my life is different now, for at least the next 6 months.
BUT...
So is his! David lost 2 babies this year too! David had to watch me go through both losses, start two deal with both losses, sharing when I had trouble sharing. David had to wait as I went through loads of tests, only days after our second loss. He then had to take 2 very confused, tired, emotional children home without me, skip more work and then eventually pick me up and keep a close eye on me on only my first day out of the hospital. (And trust me, yesterday was no cake walk! More on that later...)
I adore my Davey.
He is my best friend.
He is the most fantastic father to Joy & Micah.
He pours his heart and everything he can into his family
and his work...
I am so completely blessed to be married to my best friend, the man who knows me better than anyone else, who has genuinely strived to make our marriage stronger. He understands give and take better than most anyone and longs to see me happy and our whole family well. He is incredibly unique and I couldn't imagine being married to anyone else... anyone more spectacularly perfect for me... and for our kids.
So this blog is dedicated to you, David. I am so thrilled God brought us together after all of those years. I hope I never have to live a day without you...
*Melis*
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Freedom!
If you haven't already noticed, I got a fabulous surprise today! I got to leave the hospital and come home! My INR (the ever important number involving the "clottiness" of my blood) was up 0.2 to 1.4. Since we were aiming for 2.0-3.0, I assumed from previous conversations with the doctor, I would still be there likely through the weekend at least. Instead, she referenced an even earlier conversation with another doctor and told me I would be giving myself "shots" for likely a week that would substitute for the drip blood thinner. I was nervous but she assured me I would be taught how to do it and would be perfectly fine to do it. I wondered throughout the day if everything would process for this to actually happen and was told mid-afternoon I would for sure be leaving in the evening. David arranged to go in late to his second job so he could pick me up, get my prescriptions and dinner and get me home and settled. Bless his heart!
I was surprised at how easy the "shots" were and was discharged from the hospital shortly after 5pm this evening. I was stoked. It took awhile to get everything we needed as they prescriptions weren't quite ready and we needed a specific box to dispose of them in that the first pharmacy didn't have. The second place wasn't open and we finally located it, took care of dinner briefly and I finally settled into home. David left for work, as I assured him I was okay. After eating dinner, I had a mini panic as I didn't find my pain medicine. After I called David, he helped me clarify that the pain meds were prescribed on an as needed basis after the D&C and I hadn't touched them yet. I checked the paperwork and confirmed he was right all around, took them and calmed back down.
I've spent my evening announcing my excitement, calling & texting family to update them and vegging in front of shows I missed while in the hospital. I am thrilled to be home but now I truly feel this song alive in me...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z29olPjFbqg
So for a week or so, I will be giving myself a "shot" in the tummy twice a day since I still need to get my INR up.
For 6 months (at least), I will be taking a blood thinner orally once a day. I will meet with a hematologist periodically. I will meet with a regular doctor at intervals as well, starting at about twice a week and reducing eventually to about once a month to get my blood drawn and tested. I will be called by my hospital's pharmacy after these draws to keep my posted on how much blood thinner I need to be taking and will help me adjust it as needed. I will be having tests run periodically during and then some once I am off the blood thinner to help reveal the cause(s) and other helpful information (we hope) about my condition.
Re: DNC I will be following up with my doc on Tuesday and he will be running genetic testing to see if it reveals anything.
Yes, I still have a pulmonary embolism and we have no idea when it will disappear or if it will fully but we know God is in control and that the plan put in place will most likely prevent anything like this from ever happening again. We also know I had no hand in this happening to me. God knows why He allowed this to happen and we are depending on Him to lead us forward. David and I still have some more personal & familial things to talk about. For now, I am excited to be home in my comfy bed, get a day with my best friend tomorrow (he's the best), see my kiddos for real Saturday and start moving forward with yet another "new normal." God is soooooo good and we are so thankful I am alive and still chatting everyone's ears off ;)
\
Thank you for all of the prayers. We still need them. I promise, I'll keep you posted. And remember, you are an OVERCOMER too!
Love and God Bless,
*Melis*
P.S. Squirt & Little One, Mommy & Daddy haven't forgotten about you. We still miss you and are thankful, despite the pain that God is using you both to help us grow together and on our own in faith. *Mwah!*
I was surprised at how easy the "shots" were and was discharged from the hospital shortly after 5pm this evening. I was stoked. It took awhile to get everything we needed as they prescriptions weren't quite ready and we needed a specific box to dispose of them in that the first pharmacy didn't have. The second place wasn't open and we finally located it, took care of dinner briefly and I finally settled into home. David left for work, as I assured him I was okay. After eating dinner, I had a mini panic as I didn't find my pain medicine. After I called David, he helped me clarify that the pain meds were prescribed on an as needed basis after the D&C and I hadn't touched them yet. I checked the paperwork and confirmed he was right all around, took them and calmed back down.
I've spent my evening announcing my excitement, calling & texting family to update them and vegging in front of shows I missed while in the hospital. I am thrilled to be home but now I truly feel this song alive in me...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z29olPjFbqg
So for a week or so, I will be giving myself a "shot" in the tummy twice a day since I still need to get my INR up.
For 6 months (at least), I will be taking a blood thinner orally once a day. I will meet with a hematologist periodically. I will meet with a regular doctor at intervals as well, starting at about twice a week and reducing eventually to about once a month to get my blood drawn and tested. I will be called by my hospital's pharmacy after these draws to keep my posted on how much blood thinner I need to be taking and will help me adjust it as needed. I will be having tests run periodically during and then some once I am off the blood thinner to help reveal the cause(s) and other helpful information (we hope) about my condition.
Re: DNC I will be following up with my doc on Tuesday and he will be running genetic testing to see if it reveals anything.
Yes, I still have a pulmonary embolism and we have no idea when it will disappear or if it will fully but we know God is in control and that the plan put in place will most likely prevent anything like this from ever happening again. We also know I had no hand in this happening to me. God knows why He allowed this to happen and we are depending on Him to lead us forward. David and I still have some more personal & familial things to talk about. For now, I am excited to be home in my comfy bed, get a day with my best friend tomorrow (he's the best), see my kiddos for real Saturday and start moving forward with yet another "new normal." God is soooooo good and we are so thankful I am alive and still chatting everyone's ears off ;)
\
Thank you for all of the prayers. We still need them. I promise, I'll keep you posted. And remember, you are an OVERCOMER too!
Love and God Bless,
*Melis*
P.S. Squirt & Little One, Mommy & Daddy haven't forgotten about you. We still miss you and are thankful, despite the pain that God is using you both to help us grow together and on our own in faith. *Mwah!*
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