I am not so happy...

Okay so my usual personality tends towards positivity... seeing the beauty, the good, the lovely in all that I possibly can.  But I will be honest, that has been super hard lately... and I've been grumpy.  And yes, I can blame it on a million things... the clotting disorder, the bipolar disorder, the miscarriages, the blood pressure issues, our less-than-nice neighbors, stolen wallet, stolen cans, grumpy or non-communicative family, friends, coworkers of David's... but I am not going to... or maybe I am?  I 

I am tired.  I miss my friends.  I wish other friends lived closer.  I miss my hubby and wish he could be home more often.  I wish his bosses knew how good they really have it with him, I mean really!  And yes, I will say it.  I wish I had more money, more means to help my kids see what life could really be like.  And yes, we have those moments, those precious times with them and I know they love us!  But I am sometime very ashamed of this place we call home and making them live in a place I don't feel 100% safe in myself, a place where being loud can get us reported to the landlord... all because a 2 & 6 year old were playing.

I have slowly started working on my business again.  (GO Beachbody!)  I have tried to stop making excuses about why I cannot do it.  I will still hurt.  I will still be limited this pregnancy but I am not incapable of being the BEST me I CAN be in THIS place.  Because I am in a different place, I need to adjust and deal with it.  I need to find a ways to share with you all WHERE I am NOW and what that means.  I do not have to stop; I just need to realign?  Does that make sense?

What is on your mind?  Check me out on Facebook if you like...

That's all for now,
Melis

P.S. How cute is this precious girl?! 

P.S.S. Baby girl just kicked me.